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5 Steps To Getting Better Matches On Tinder

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If you’re single and not on Tinder, you should be. In fact, I would submit that in 2015, you have to be. Tinder is so popular and so widely used, that you could be missing out on meeting dozens of new girls every day.

And that’s not a plug for Tinder. It’s just an observation of where our culture is headed. Even from just a logic perspective; if you’re single, why not cast the largest net possible? It’s asinine and pretentious to only try and meet women in one specific way

Tinder can, however, be a little overwhelming and even frustrating at first. You might get matched with dozens of girls in a day, and then none the next day and everything in between.

And even if you do get a lot of matches in a day, you might find they go nowhere or that you lose interest in them almost immediately.

To stop that from happening, here are 5 steps to getting better matches on Tinder.

 

1. Your Profile.

You don’t need a shirtless picture. You just don’t. Sure, you might be able to snag a few more shallow women, who are just looking for a one night stand, but most women I talk to say that they actively avoid guys with shirtless pictures, because it makes them look like they’re uninteresting and trying way too hard.

What you do want to include is a classic profile picture (face), a full body shot and something showing off your hobbies.

I find this combination yields the most matches, and actually works best if you put a full body picture first. Dressing well and looking groomed, of course, helps.

You also don’t need some weird description. Keep it simple to build mystery, with just enough to get a girl interested.

You can break down your “About Me” like this;

Location

Career

Witty description of hobbies and interests.

For example, mine looks like;

Vancouver.

Screenwriter. Columnist.

Music nerd. Whiskey enthusiast.

Oh and a link to your Instagram is a nice addition.

This gives girls something to inquire about. Which is what you want. Inquiry means interest, which leads to investment.

 

2. Her Profile.

Actually look at it. For so many reasons.

First and foremost, not all girls lead with the best picture (yes, even the attractive ones), so it behooves you to sometimes swipe through their shots before instinctually clicking, “Nope”.

Second, because you need to grab some information from her description. Of course you’ll want to see if your compatible, but you also need to stock a bit of ammunition. This will come back into play later.

 

3. To thy own self be true.

When you’re actually swiping through these pictures, don’t lie to yourself.

Sincerely try and look for girls who you’re attracted to, and who you think you’ll actually be compatible with.

Now this means to not lower your standards and start going crazy with “likes”, or fool yourself into thinking you’ll get along with a girl when clearly you’re going to hate everything about her. But it also means not to get super shallow or picky over stupid reasons. You can get hit with so many girls at once, that you can be become unnecessarily judgmental really quick.

When viewing profiles, legitimately ask yourself,

“Would I hit on this girl in a bar?”

Sure, you have nothing to lose by clicking “yes”. But remember, we’re looking for quality here over quantity, and if all you’re doing is sifting through bad, boring matches, it’s going to take longer to get to the good ones.

 

4. Assume rapport.

Up to this point, you haven’t really been able to manipulate how successful your exact matches are. Time to start changing that. Ultimately, the best matches are the ones you get the most out of.

When you eventually do match, you’ll want to go right to game 101 and assume rapport.

Now, admittedly, I really scratched my head over how to do this when I first picked up Tinder.

I had become fairly proficient at text game, typically calling back to an inside joke to begin a text conversation. But this was different.

“How do you assume rapport with somebody you’ve never even met before?”

I asked myself.

This is where reading the profile comes in handy, because it will give you something to assume rapport with. It’s the ammunition, I mentioned earlier.

You can riff on and tease her about her pictures or her description. Essentially, you want to call out and make fun of how seemingly compatible (or incompatible) you might be.

Some examples;

“Whoa, (something from her profile) ? We could never date”

“Best. About me. Ever.”

“Um (something from her profile)? Marry me.”

 

5. Escalate quickly.

You want to build in sexual tension right from the jump. But remember that this girl is probably chatting with many other guys, so you’ll want to establish attraction and escalate with her as quickly as possible.

Tinder is about eliminating the fuss of introduction, so keep that in mind. Bringing up marriage or dating early, even in the first message, is a great way to make fun of and be caviler about the process, while simultaneously utilizing it to your advantage.

Always keep your goal in mind;

Getting her out on an actual date.

Ultimately, the only successful Tinder match is one where you meet the girl in real life, so all your messages should be working up to that goal.

Now, some girls do legitimately want to talk to and get to know you a little bit first. Unlike text game, I haven’t found the 3 – 4 message meet-up works very often, presumably, and understandably, because you don’t have the advantage of having met the person in real life before hand.

In which case I recommend using the “ask me anything” game.

You can start a conversation with this, or even use it to stop the conversation from fizzling out. Just message her,

“Okay, ask me anything.”

After you answer her question, you’ll ask her a question back. Go with something initially benign, such as, “what did you want to be when you grew up?” or “ what’s your favorite flavor ice cream?”

But on the third turn, make it a sex question. Don’t start off too dirty. “What’s the wildest place you’ve ever had sex?” or “have you ever had a one night stand?” Then escalate from there.

Once you’re into some really sexually charged territory, then it’s time to pull the trigger and set up a date.

 

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About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.


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