Four ways to end an argument quickly
Arguments are par for the course for any relationship. To men with limited relationship experience, trying to defuse an argument is a complicated matter, fraught with danger. As you gain more experience, you will learn an array of tricks to make any argument short. Or, you could take a short-cut and read up on strategies!
Develop a course of action
The entire point of having an argument is to reach a resolution. This fact often gets forgotten as you are trading insults. One way to shorten the duration of an argument, while obtaining a productive outcome, is to focus on deciding what to do about the situation. For example, if she is mad because you went out without inviting her, you could agree that in future you will inform her when you are going out, and invite her some of the time. Once she agrees on the resolution (or better yet, once she suggests it herself), there is no reason to continue arguing. Be firm that you will not continue arguing after this point. Of course, make sure that the course of action is reasonable, or you will be setting yourself up for more fights later on. Reaching a resolution is the healthiest way to end an argument.
Stay on topic
During arguments, you often find yourself or your girlfriend bringing up grievances from months ago. This allows arguments to be blown out of proportion. More emotions are flying around due to hurt from the old issue. Restrain yourself from bringing up old issues, and steer her back onto topic when she does it. Do not engage with the old issue. Explain that you would like to discuss the issue at hand, and that the old argument can be discussed at a separate time if she would still like to talk about it.
A common mistake when attempting this strategy is to defend yourself from the old argument, and then try to change the topic. Of course she is then going to argue with your refutation. It will be a much shorter argument if you say something along the lines of “I understand that you are upset about what I did months ago, but we are not discussing it right now”, rather than “You have no reason to be upset about that, and also we are not discussing it now”.
Is it an argument worth having?
This works for petty arguments. Ask her if she really wants to argue about something so small. This will put the argument into perspective and make her more appreciative for your relationship. Be aware that you cannot use this strategy often, or it will become an issue in itself that you always seek to leave arguments unresolved. You also cannot use it for arguments about serious issues in your relationship.
Occasionally, you can use distraction as a way of ending an argument which has been dragging on for far too long. Say you are sick of arguing, and suggest you do something nice together, and leave the argument behind for one night. Do something special, like going out for dinner. You will find that in most cases, she will cool off and not re-start the argument at a later date. This works best when you have been arguing for hours with no resolution in sight.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/