Comparing Playboy Parties to College Parties
Working for Playboy and being in College definitely introduces me to the two best party scenes on the planet. Better yet, combine both of those and you have “Playboy’s Top Party Schools.” Having been to some of the most renowned Playboy events, and also partying with Campus Representatives at some of Playboy’s Top Party Schools, I have seen all that both party scenes have to give, I’m going to breakdown both:
Usually, it’s not where you go; it’s who you’re with. When it comes to a Playboy Party of one of the campuses on Playboy’s Top Party Schools…that is not the case.
Playboy Events: I could never take friends to a Playboy Event. I tried inviting a couple of friends once and they were like a kid in a Candy Store. Running up to celebrities and Playmates asking for autographs is ridiculous. When attending a Playboy party, you need to play it cool and just let the good times roll.
Fact: You will meet the sexiest women you have ever seen in your life.
Fact: They are down to Earth and more fun than you can imagine.
Fact: They carry themselves so well that your chances of hooking up are close to none.
When it comes to the guys at these parties, they are either a celebrity, athlete, or wipe their ass with hundred dollar bills. For the most part, all of them were really cool to me and almost acted inferior to me. However, there is no doubt in my mind that they only did that because I work these events and if I was just a random person, they would treat me like I didn’t belong there. Unfortunately for them, I did belong there. Even the models and Playmates felt I belonged there (at times being used as their human chair or as someone to dance with).
College: It takes an unbelievably outgoing person to show up to a college party alone. College parties are very “clicky” and although a lot of groups will be approachable, they always have that “who the fuck are you?” vibe. In my case, I was always alone or knew no more than three people when at these parties.
Fact: If you just socialize with enough people, you will hook-up.
Fact: You will encounter some kind of drama throughout the party and meet some people that you will want to kill in their sleep.
Fact: You will remember less than 25% of this party, and have no idea how the hell you got back home last night.
Something to consider: The party scene at any given campus is like a community. At some point the majority of the people within this community will have a giant web of hook-ups. Therefore, somebody is always hooking up with somebody else’s ex or somebody else’s friend with benefits, which lead to jealously, which lead to drama.
There are three types of girls at a college party. The kind that will hook-up with you that night (90% of them), then you have the kind that was dragged there by their friends and will flirt with you, but the most you are getting is a phone number (8%), and then you have your distractions (2%), which are usually the girls making out with each other, grinding up on each other, or dancing on a bar (they are there to tease and distract and they always go home alone).
There are two-types of guys at a college party: Douche-bags (75%), are the guys who are constantly trying to show off how macho they are or how funny and cool they think they are. Bromance material (25%), are the guys you will bond with in your drunkenness and wish that they could be your best man. From talking about sports, to making fun of the douche bags, these guys are your best friends in the world for the night (until tomorrow when they look familiar, but you can’t remember where you met them). Let’s not forget about that guy with the bottle. Every fucking Top Party School campus I visited had “that guy with the bottle” at their party. Everybody is just hanging out, enjoying their beer or whatever and there’s this angel in the shape of a man, with a bottle of Goose, Tequila, whatever and you know he cares about you. Why? Because he is sharing his bottle with everyone, even you! And sharing is caring. During my experience, everybody seemed chill, but since most people knew each other, they were talking about random people and things that I had no idea what the hell they were referring to.
Playboy Event: When it comes to a marquee Playboy Event, everybody is dressed to the nines. You’re surrounded by glamour, with smiles in every direction and your eyes will be in for a feast from the moment you arrive, until the event comes to a close. Yes, it is definitely something cool to experience, but it all comes down to how hard you like to party. As cool as the experience may be as a whole, your wild-side will have to be tamed and you’ll have to carry yourself well. The food and drinks will be some of the best tasting you’ve ever had, and the music will be some of the hottest songs and remixes you’ll ever hear.
College Party: People are all over the place. You have some girls wearing a mini-dress and heels, some girls who looked like they started to get dressed and said “fuck it, I’m just going in this”, some guys wearing fucking pajama pants, then there’s that idiot with his collar popped, even that asshole who is always wearing a hat (what are you hiding under that hat, hat man?). When it comes down to it: anything is fair game. It definitely feels good to be relaxed and know you’re in a place with 400 people (even if capacity is like 100), and you’re all there to let loose and have a good time. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want…no limits. Usually, you’ll have no idea what the hell you’re drinking (90% of the time it’s beer or jungle juice), but you’ll know it’s getting you fucked up and you’re loving every poisonous drop. You will hear the same 15-20 songs on fucking loop and wonder why nobody is changing the god damn playlist, but by your second drink, you wont be able to get enough of Lil Wayne, Bon Jovi, and Journey.
Playboy Party: Hands down, it is an experience that you will never forget. Any pictures that you take will make every single one of your friends jealous and envious. You’ll even leave the event more confident because you were just with a ton of really attractive and successful people. I always enjoy being at a Playboy event because you realize that it’s a different class of people than you see everyday. It’s like a fantasy land for a night, but it’s bittersweet because you want to go nuts and let loose like crazy, but you also need to keep yourself under control to reflect the kind of class that the event represents. All in all, it is a fucking sick experience that will raise all of your standards in every way substantially.
College Party:You’ll wake up with a killer hangover sometime in afternoon. You’ll Thank God that your liver is still functioning. Every single time, I woke up around 2:00, ate enough food that would have been able to feed an African village, and tried to remember who the hell the new names were in my phone. One time, I woke up with the taste of smoke in my mouth. I asked my friend if I hooked up with a girl who was smoking and he told me “Nope. You accidentally drank from a beer that we were ashing in.” Fuck my life. Parts of your body will be sore and you’ll be a detective trying to figure out exactly what the fuck happened for the next few hours (until the next party starts).
And it goes on and on and on and ooonnnnn…
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About Cliff Englewood Cliff goes to MSU and is TSB Magazine resident "College Life" contributor with tips and advice to get the most out of your time in college.