How To Get Out Of A Dry Spell
Finding yourself in a dry spell?
You just can’t say any of the right things to your Tinder match. You’re bumbling your way through meet ups and cold approaches. Heck, maybe even your casual fling is dying out. Even if you’re in a long-term relationship, you might find yourself in a bit of a rut.
The problem is you. You know it’s you, and it’s all the more frustrating because the harder you try, the harder you fall.
You’re not normally so inept, and you know what you should be saying and doing, but lately, you just can’t seem to pull it off.
Fail, get frustrated, and repeat.
I’ll get right to the point about how to fix a problem like a dry spell.
Your primary problem is that you’re over thinking everything and it’s making it all 10x worse. You’re sending yourself into a panic. You’re feeling desperation because you feel like you need to succeed in that moment.
So step one is to take a deep breath and to just let it all go for now.
Yes, I’m telling you to stop trying.
I know that’s difficult because as men, we’re hard-wired to compete for everything we want, and we generally see not obtaining something as death. But that’s why you’ll drive yourself crazy and never be able to win.
I’m not telling you to never get back in the ring, but sit out around.
Chances are there’s something else in your life that’s affecting you right now.
Stress is the primary cause for your dry spell, because tress can have a particularly negative effect on working memory.
Working memory is basically when your brain has to process multiple pieces of information at once. So you know, decision-making.
If you’re overloaded with work or personal stress, there’s no way you’re going to have any game. Your mind is focused on a billion other things.
Think of it this way, your working memory is already telling you that you’re not in the right place to focus on being attractive to women right now, because you’ve got bigger fish to fry.
Focus on tackling that big project at work, or reconciling what it is you need to personally. Treat yourself, do what makes you happy, take a vacation.
Exercise is double good because it’ll make you look better and calm you down.
You need to be your own biggest priority right now, and the things you fix and take care of about yourself will be the things that ultimately end up making you attractive in the first place.
So take a step back and do right by yourself, so you can do right by her.
About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.