How your ex is ruining your chances with other women
You need to carefully manage the remnants of your former relationship, or you may drive away new women that you are dating.
Being friends with the ex
Women do not like it when you are still friends with your ex. It is even worse when you regard your ex as your “best friend”, retaining the emotional intimacy of a relationship. The girl you are seeing may try to play it cool and claim that she does not care if you are friends with your ex, but secretly she is fuming. This is not to say you should be nasty to your ex to appease your current girl- you can be friendly with your ex-girlfriends without being friends.
Social media trail
You have not gotten around to removing your old profile pictures with your ex. Your Tinder profile pictures may even feature your ex-girlfriend, as you reason that other users will assume that she is just a friend. If you are the type to post loving messages on your social media accounts, you have not combed through to remove all personal aspects of your former relationship. You may think that it’s “just social media” and has no reflection on your life and your priorities, but every girl that you date will be stalking your profiles as far back as they go. If you have too much evidence of your previous relationship, the new girl you are seeing will think you are not over your ex. Also, you do not want her to be able to stalk your ex’s accounts. She will be intimidated and feel insecure, and may decide she does not want to date you after all. Remove all tags to your ex’s profile and you will not have to deal with the jealousy issues.
Your ex is likely to contact you when she sees you are in a fledgling new relationship. Even if she was the one to break up with you, she wants to know that she could still have you back if she wanted. When you receive a message from your ex, your intuition will tell you to quietly reply and not to mention it to the woman you are seeing now. This will only cause problems later. When she finds out, she will wonder what else you have been hiding. It is best to reply to your ex shutting down any possibility of reconciliation, and being honest with the new girl.
Comparing to your ex
Your ex can sabotage your new relationship through no fault of her own, just by being in your thoughts. Particularly if you have only recently emerged from your previous relationship, in your head you may be comparing every new experience to those you have had with your ex. The part of you that is still infatuated with your ex will see any new woman that you are dating as inferior in some way. Distracting yourself with new flirtations is a fantastic way to get over your old flame, but in order to pursue anything serious, you need to be in a mindset where you are no longer obsessed with your ex.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/