Reasons To Be Thankful For Being Relationship-Free
The passing of Thanksgiving Day ushers in the madness known as the Christmas holiday season. Responses to the coming month of festivities tend to be divided. There are those, and your humble writer is one of them, who look forward to Christmas with nothing less than an overabundance of joy and merriment. Like the nephew of Ebenezer Scrooge at the beginning of that immortal story and the old misanthrope himself at the end of it, we know how to keep Christmas in our hearts and do so without apology.
But there are others who absolutely detest the holidays. And I for one think the haters have a point when they criticize the wild commercialism of the season and the enormous pressure that couples put on themselves to make everything turn out perfectly.
This last point is worth further exploration.
If you are in a relationship, you are almost forced to slip into a certain mode during the holidays. Even if you both agree to resist such pressures, they inevitably creep in and overtake your lives. And there is bound to be disappointment and a major falling out before it’s all over.
As we wrap up the Thanksgiving weekend, there is one more thing to be thankful for: being free of a relationship. Here are some reasons why:
You may be relationship-free during the holidays, but you need not be alone. In fact, now is one of the best times of the year to meet women. The sisters who are single tend to spin the same lines: that they are happy to be alone this Christmas, that they have a chance to relax and concentrate on themselves, that they don’t need a man to make them happy, and that they are looking forward to spending quality time with relatives.
It’s bullshit; not a single word of this is true.
The fact is none of them wants to be alone during the holiday season. They want to be as happy and joyous as their married and partnered friends are; they hate being the only single girl at the many parties they’re invited to.
The relationship may not last past the New Year, but you will find plenty of girls in search of a holiday fling—if for no other reason than it gives them the much sought after status of “plus one” for dinner parties.
Speaking of dinner parties, as a single man you will receive plenty of invitations to feast at the home of your married colleagues and boss. The women of such homes like to have single men over as it gives them a chance to play matchmaker. If you receive an invite, expect to find a single girl who you are meant to be fixed up with. See above to understand how this is likely to turn out.
One of the greatest advantages of being relationship-free over the holidays is that there is no pressure to buy the right gift. No matter how much they feign indifference, women expect considerable thought to be put into the Christmas gift they receive from their men. It need not be expensive, but it has to somehow strike just the right chord of affection or you will hear about it—either directly or passive-aggressively.
Finally, you can go away for Christmas if you want. Few people do this on the spur of the moment because of the cost and the hassle, but you should delight in the fact that you don’t have to commit yourself to being anywhere specific for the holidays.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.