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The Confidence Game: You Are The Enemy Within

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Understand Confidence and How It Affects Your Personal, Dating and Sex Life

Ask a man if he is confident and the typical response will be yes. This is how we have been programmed to respond. Men are expected to be confident and strong. But are we? Is it possible we are just human, with all the frailties that go along with it?

Most of the confidence men exude is an act. It is a show put on to please those around us. We dress nice, talk right and do things people expect. Ultimately though, it is a front for most.

What people don’t see is what is going on in our heads. The fears and doubts. Worries about failure and rejection. We have concerns about our health and well-being, or being unsatisfied with our bodies.

Hell, one of the biggest sources of angst is our dick size. Just the lack of confidence in what we have to offer can make us weak. It doesn’t even matter that no one knows. It is in our head, and it gnaws like a rat at our confidence and ego.

Confidence doesn’t have to be an act though. You don’t have to steel yourself daily to go put on that show. You can generate real confidence within yourself once you understand what it is, and how it works for you or against you.

What Is This Confidence You Speak Of?

Confidence is not a tangible thing. You cannot walk into the drugstore and pick up a bottle. Well, if they sell liquor, I guess you can (still not the real thing). While not a valued commodity, it is a priceless asset though.

The root of confidence is found within. It is waiting to be stoked and built into a bonfire. To do so, you must know how. Simply put, confidence is about what you know and believe.

We exhibit base confidence on a daily basis, and have been since we were babies.

Imagine a child who is learning to walk. At first, mom or dad holds their hands. Their legs are wobbly, and steps are tentative, looking very much like a puppet on strings. The child is unsure and nervous, but secure in parental hands. With each practice, legs become more stable and steps are surer. You can begin to see excitement on the child’s face as they overcome doubt and fear. Soon, the hands will be released, and he will take a first solo step. Fear and doubt come crashing back in, for a short time, but quickly go away as knowledge and belief set in. Before long, you can’t keep him in one place, and the real chaos begins.

This is how confidence is created. The child doesn’t know he can walk, but mom and dad believe he can. Their belief instills the confidence to try. As knowledge and skill are acquired, steps become stronger and intentional. Eventually, the child believes he can walk based off knowledge and experience. Instilled confidence takes root and grows into self-confidence. “I know how to walk, and I believe I can do it.”

Think about all the things in your life that you are confident in, yet take for granted. Reading, walking, driving, talking and more daily activities are things you do confidently. They aren’t for show; they are real. The one thing they all have in common is knowledge and belief.

If you know how to do something, you believe it confidently. If you believe you can do something, confidence drives you to succeed. Knowledge and belief work together to build confidence.

How Do I Build and Sustain Confidence?

Men lack self-confidence because they don’t commit. Men don’t commit to the effort, time or bother of gaining confidence. You see, if you don’t believe in what you are doing, or don’t believe it is worth the time, you won’t see it through. Confidence is in your head, and your head can talk you out of trying.

For example, when we want to “front” confidence, we put on nice clothes, like a suit, and put on “the show.” Putting on that suit gives you a momentary ego boost, right? You feel good because you look good. But, what if being well-dressed wasn’t just for show? What if it was a part of you? That feeling you get when you don a suit can be permanent.

You must commit to being well-dressed. It is that simple. When you are dressing well as a habit, you instinctively feel the “well-dressed boost” all the time. You could be wearing a bath robe and boxers, but the confidence of being a well-dressed man persists in your persona.

To have confidence with women and sex, you must educate yourself and create habits that sustain confidence. Consistency is key.

You must train your mind to believe what you know, and believe that you can learn and do things you don’t. Remember, no one knows your faults unless you present them as such.

Can you satisfy every woman you sleep with? If you have a blank look on your face, that means you don’t believe you can. But, the truth is, you can. If you learn about women, understand what makes them tick, and practice techniques on how to flirt, pick up and please women, being confident is easy. And as confidence grows, opportunities to practice and gain experience grow as well.

The bottom line is this: everyone is attracted to confident people. Men are drawn to other men they see as strong and confident. Women are longing for confident men to walk into their lives. Employers and co-workers are always responsive to confident people. Most people can be assholes, but this is overlooked if they are confident.

A lack of confidence will undermine everything you do. You must commit to confidence-building habits. Learn them and live them. When they are part of your person, you believe. With belief comes confidence; with confidence comes belief.

About R. S. Brasher

A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.

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