Is She Avoiding You Or Just Shy?
Women can be difficult to read. However, you should not make too many general assumptions about the kind of person she is from the few signals you’ve received from her.
Let me explain this last statement.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in all my years of dealing with the fairer sex is that there are girls who are introverted, girls who are awkward, and girls who are extroverted but are shy around guys they like.
The first of these—the introvert—refers to the kind of girl commonly called shy. A girl who is reserved around strangers, does not like to be the center of attention, and prefers her own company to that of friends.
The awkward girl is often mistaken for being shy, but really isn’t. The woman who has no dress sense, who has a body type that is neither unshapely nor well-defined, who is rather clumsy in her words, manner, and movements does not disdain socializing; she just lacks the grace to do it well.
Then there is the extrovert: the girl who is chatty and funny and enjoyable as company. She is the kind of girl who seems confident and sure of what she wants. She is the kind of girl who most of us think we can get a definite indication as to whether she is interested or not. But we are wrong to think this way. These women can exhibit elements of shyness when they are around guys they like.
This all sounds a bit fourth-gradish, but it is nevertheless true: the confident, outgoing, beautiful, charismatic girl you’ve set your eyes on may not be blowing you off or avoiding you; she may actually like you a lot, which has had the effect of making her shy around you.
Here are a few tips to help you tell the difference (and these can be used to tell if a genuinely shy girl is into you as well):
It is said that the eyes never lie. This should be accepted as an axiom. There are two types of eye signals to look for. One is when you are speaking about a general topic of mutual interest; the other is when you compliment or flatter her.
In the former instance, if she looks at you without batting an eyelash, if she appears as though she is drinking up your every word with her eyes, then she is into you. In the other instance, she will respond in the exact opposite way: she will laugh nervously, fidget, and turn her head to avert your gaze.
If she constantly brings up your name in conversation with her friends, then you are on her mind and she is into you. It may seem like she never wants to spend much time with you, but this is a product of nerves. She is afraid that she will say or do something that will make you think less of her, or she fears that you will see right through her and know that she desperately wants you.
However, these feelings subside when she is around her girls. She feels freer to say to them all that she would like to say to you. Monitor this closely. If she leaves you, goes over to her friends, and they all start giggling, something is up.
Yes, it is possible for a girl who is not your girlfriend, who in fact barely knows you, to be intensely jealous of other women. If you speak to her after you have been flirting with other girls, she will look at you as though you killed her pet hamster. In fact, this is a great way to tell whether she likes you and is too shy to respond to your advances: if she is smitten, then she will look hurt; if she doesn’t care for you, then she will look perfectly content.
Here is another article that is related to the topic: https://www.tsbmag.com/2012/07/23/when-she-says-shes-not-interested/
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.