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Is She Actually Busy? Or Just Not Into You?



How to make the right call

You cannot expect a woman to be at your beck and call. She is super busy. She has as much drive and determination as you to advance her career. And if you want to get anywhere with her you will have to acknowledge the fact that because she is a woman she has to work twice as hard and twice as long for it; for there is no room for mistakes when you are a woman surrounded by alpha men.

She may be trying to set up her own business or pushing her way forward in the realm of academia or writing a novel while trying to make ends meet with freelance work. The point is that the sisters have a lot on their plates, and you should make your approach with that in mind.

But here is the thing: she is never too busy for romance and sex. No matter what she tells you, she will not sacrifice either of these to a hectic schedule. She will find a way to fit them in—that is, if she is really into you.

And this is what you must ultimately determine: Is she actually busy? Or just not into you?

Here are a few pointers to help you judge the situation:

Has she offered to reschedule?

She may agree to see you on a particular evening. She may then send you a text message stating that she can’t do it that night. Now here is the important part. If she proposes another day—I mean an actual date—it means she was genuinely mistaken about being free that day or something pressing came up and she had to cancel; it also means that she is into you and would like to see you again.

If she just cancels without proposing another date or follows her cancellation with a phrase such as “let’s do it another time”, it means she doesn’t care one way or the other if she sees you again; in other words, she is not into you.

Has she apologized profusely?

Women who are into men tend to get emotional over them. Don’t expect an extended apology if she is canceling a first date. She barely knows you, and even if she would like to see you again she will not feel as though she owes you much in the way of explanation.

However, if it is your second or third date and she really digs you, she will feel bad about canceling and send you a very apologetic text.

Does she flirt with you between re-schedulings?

Legitimate and unexpected business will come up in her life, and she may need to re-schedule plans with you to handle her business. If she is into you, she will send you flirtatious texts between these re-schedulings; it’s a signal that she likes you and really wants to see you again.

Has she lied about her social life?

This is a big one.

You will often hear women say something to the effect of “I’m so busy I have no social life right now.” If she has said that to you, it is a danger sign. She may be telling the truth. She may be so swamped with a project or a particular purpose that she has not seen any of her friends for weeks.

However, if you see her out drinking and partying, then what she told you might have been meant to discourage you from trying to pursue her. Or, she may have meant nothing by it. People tend to exaggerate the busyness of their lives as a means of feeling good about themselves. You will have to make the call on what she meant by the statement.

Trust your gut

Keep in mind that she may show all the signs of being into you, but still not be into you. She may be conscientious and flirtatious and say all the things that point to something happening between you for the sole purpose of not hurting your feelings. Yes, women do this.

A woman who really wants to see you will find a way to see you. When you are together, you should feel a vibe. In fact, I would go so far to say that a busy woman who is into you will want to move things along as quickly as possible. Making out and having sex should happen sooner rather than later.

About Christopher Reid

Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.

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