Are You In A Transactional Relationship?
This may seem like a strange question to ask. Anyone who is in a relationship that consists solely of the exchange of money or material comfort for sex and affection should know the answer to it. But that is not always the case. A growing number of transactional relationships materialize without the men in them realizing what they are part of.
The changing nature of work and living arrangements has made this sort of thing occur more frequently. For most people, it is harder to get ahead in life than it once was. On the one hand, it is easier to live on the cheap, shack up with friends, and make money by going online. On the other hand, graduating from college no longer guarantees you a well-paying job and even pursuing a higher education is much more expensive—especially in the cost of living—than it once was. There is also the uncertainty of finding and keeping jobs and accommodation. What you may have today can easily be gone tomorrow.
These conditions put many young women, even pretty, decent, middle-class women, into difficult circumstances. And some of them have decided to put their charms to work rather than carry on with the struggle on their own.
A decent, middle-class woman cannot be seen to be prostituting herself in any shape or form. To hook and capture a “sugar daddy” also does damage her sexual reputation. To solve their material problems without becoming the object of gossip and scandal, a number of such women have opted to date moderately successful men who they have no real romantic interest in but find tolerable enough to sleep with. The deal: you pay the bills; she cares for the home and gives you sex on demand—it is an arrangement as old as civilization itself.
To be sure, you may be wide awake to what is going on. You may have no illusions about the kind of relationship you’re in, and have no problems with it. However, it may be the case that you think the two of you have a future together when you really don’t. Her intention may be to stay with you until she finishes her degree or has saved up enough money or gotten a job that pays well enough for her to move out.
Here are a few signs that you may unwittingly be in a transactional relationship:
There is no way to predict the course of true passion. She may have made up her mind about you on the first date or fell head over heels after your first night of passion. Her eagerness for the two of you to live together may be sincere.
But you should be wary, especially if you find out that she has no permanent place to stay, is living with relatives, is sleeping on the couch at a friend’s place, or constantly and conspicuously leaves stuff at your place. If this is what her life is like, then she is neither in love nor infatuated; merely desperate.
Women are usually the ones who take the initiative in discussing and planning the future of the relationship. Of course, there are more than a few independent women who are reticent to give up singledom. However, if the girl you are dating already lives with you and is unwilling to express a single concrete desire about your future together, it may be a sign that she is not in the same relationship that you are in.
A woman who knows she is giving up her pussy for a comfortable and settled life will not want to parade that fact in front of her friends. You may meet them once, and they may assume that you are just her current flame—even if she has moved in. She will want them to keep that impression, which is why she will ensure that you meet them as little as possible.
A woman who is in an actual relationship will have times when she wants sex and times when she doesn’t. She will have on nights and off nights. She will really get into it, and show signs of tenderness and affection afterward.
A woman who is in a transaction relationship will treat sex like a job. She will work like hell to get you off every single time—and that is about all you will get out of her. Again, if that is what you are after, more power to you. But you should know the exact nature of your relationship so as not to set up unrealistic expectations.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2014/07/22/when-she-wants-you-to-buy-her-gifts/
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.