Time Notice You Should Give A Girl When Asking Her On A Date
Life is complicated. The older you get, the less time you seem to have, and the busier everyone else becomes.
This makes many things complicated, but in dating, it can lead to confusion over what to do.
There is no hard and fast rule for when you should set up a date. I’ve had dates scheduled weeks in advance, to having dates with girls I’d met that same day.
This was always due to things that were going on in my life that I had to work around.
Despite this, however, I always try to stick to a simple rule:
The sooner the better.
It’s easy to get lost in the desire to keep texting her and to find the right moment, but this is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.
The longer your interaction goes on without being face to face, the less chance it has at ever succeeding.
You can be the funniest, most charming texter in the world. Hell, you can ever be calling her – but if you take too long before you meet up you’re just going to be a glorified pen pal.
To combat this, you want to strike whilst the iron is hot.
This means you need to ask her out as soon as possible.
You want to chat to her for a bit, get a decent bit of rapport going, and then you want to ask her out to meet up either that day, the next day or the day after that.
The sooner the better.
To a lot of guys, this might sound aggressive. But it works for a simple reason.
You always want to be pushing your relationship forward. This rule is the same for guys and girls who have just met as it is for couples who have been together for decades.
Escalation is exciting. This is why when you ask a girl out early, it sets a solid foundation of escalation.
But the main reason is this you should ask her out early is this:
You can ask a girl out whenever you want.
There is no rule saying you can’t.
In an ideal world, you ask when she feels something (i.e she’s got good rapport with you), and this can be done in two or three messages.
But here’s the thing:
When you ask a girl out, it makes her feel something.
One way or another it knocks her off the fence. It distinguishes you from the countless other guys who spend ages texting her.
Not only can you ask her out whenever you want, but asking her out pushes the interaction forward.
And it is for this last reason that you want to meet her up earlier rather than later.
Other than the obstacles that life throws at us, there is no reason for you not to.
Unless you have a funeral to attend, you’re exhausted, or you’ve got the flu – it’s a dumb idea not to.
Because until you meet face to face, you’re just treading water. No matter how good it seems to be going.
If you get into the habit of asking girls out to meet up as soon as possible, you’re going to get some (maybe even a lot) who are unavailable.
And if you’re inexperienced, it’s really easy to take this the wrong way.
Here’s the reality:
People are genuinely busy and they aren’t always free.
Not only do they have their work, but they have their own social life, family, other dates, health concerns, pets, life admin, and all sorts of stuff to worry about.
You don’t always fit in. And it’s not always because she isn’t interested.
Often it’s for legitimate reasons.
But if the idea is to get them to meet up as soon as possible – how do you respond?
You can’t control what other people do, you can only control yourself and what you are and are not willing to tolerate.
When you ask a girl out and she says she can’t do it, this means one of two things:
Whilst I’d always lean towards assuming the former, you don’t want to be wasting your time with the latter. Who would?
To combat this, I’d generally operate on a strike rule. It’s up to you how many you use, but I’ve generally used three.
If I ask them out three times and they reschedule each time, then I move on.
The reason for this is simple. They probably aren’t interested.
How do I know?
If someone is interested in someone else they make time for them. Don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t make time for you.
However, this rule, like any rule is one to be used on a case by case basis. I’m pretty strict in enforcing it with myself, but there have been notable worthwhile exceptions.
In one instance I was messed around by a girl three times. It was annoying, and I was fed up. I figured she wasn’t interested and moved on. About an hour after I decided that she text me apologizing saying she really wanted to meet up, she’d just been genuinely busy.
She became my girlfriend for over a year and a half.
It’s not always cut and dry. You just have to take every situation as it comes and decide what you’re comfortable with.
To wrap up, here’s what you need to do:
Following this will help you escalate your relationships, get better results, and find people who are actually into you.
About John Matich John is a writer from the UK who splits his time between travelling the world and trying to find unconventional solutions to dating and personal development. You can find more from him at www.lifeuncivilized.com.