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How to Turn Her on With Your Body Language

Make Her Want You Without Saying a Word

Women can seem like complicated creatures, but it becomes a lot simpler if you have the right tools.

If you?ve ever been out with a girl and she just seemed uninterested in you the whole time, this is probably the reason why.

Believe it or not, women judge a lot about your character based on your body language and a lot of guys screw this up without even realizing it.

Tiny little things that you probably didn?t even realize you were doing are the difference between turning her off and getting the dub.



Eye contact is the key.

If you are constantly looking away and looking around when you?re talking to a girl your body language says you are weak and unconfident?

?The girl is going to see you as that shifty eyed creepy dude and that?s not the sort of mystery you want…

Maintain eye contact when you talk to her and you will feel the difference?

You?ll feel more confident and commanding, BUT this will also allow you to read her face and pick up on cues that you might have been missing before.


Now when I say maintain eye contact make sure that the rest of your face is calm and welcoming?

There?s a difference between maintaining eye contact and starring.

Be interested when she speaks and have a calm smile so that you don?t look like you?re starring so hard you want to murder her?

Smiling and laughing makes you seem nice and fun while also being firm and forward by looking her in the eye.


Women read into body language a lot so find the balance.


Take up Space.

We don?t ever want to appear small in stature around women.

You don?t need to be big or tall in order to take up space.

These are all things that exude weakness and will turn her off:

Hunching over?

Having your head down or tucking your chin?

Arms close together?

Crossing your legs?


When you do these things around a woman, she will perceive you as weak, unconfident and uncomfortable?

?That?s not what you want?

Own the area around you?

?Think of yourself like the king of the castle?

Imagine that you own wherever you are?

If you?re at a restaurant, think of how the owner of the place would be.

He?d sit with his back straight, chin up, chest open, maybe have his feet on the chair next to him, have his arms stretched out on the back of the chair next to him?

Make sure your shoulders are back and your chest is open.

Spread your legs and face her if you guys are sitting down.

What this tells the girl is that you are confident and comfortable around her?

She is going to see you as the commander of the space around you?



Pass the Touch Barrier.

The only difference between ?Just friends? and lovers is how physical we are.

It?s super important that we pass the touch barrier as quickly and subtly as possible.

Passing the touch barrier shows her that we are confident and forward.

We don?t just own the space around us but also enter her space as well.

Plus it shows our intentions even if its subtle that we intend to be more than friends with her.

This can be risky business because the key word there is SUBTLY?

?If we screw this up and create unwanted or unwelcomed physical contact it won?t end well.

HERE IS WHAT YOU CAN DO?so you don?t get a drink thrown in your face

Lead her to her seat with your hand on the small of her back

This is a great way to be physical without necessarily being too sexual and possibly offending her.

Just be careful not to touch her butt because it happens. Check the pro tips at the end for more on that.

Touching her leg or her arm during the conversation.

So touching her leg is more of a sexual touch than the small of her back or her shoulder but there?s a right way to pull it off.

You can also put your hand on her shoulder in an affirming way if you want to play it safe?

?You can?t play it safe all the time or you?ll lose in the end?

Another good one is to pretend there is a bug on her sleeve and brush it off.

This will give you an opportunity to gauge her response to your touch.

Did she seem comfortable about it or did she kind of flinch or pull away a bit when you moved your hand towards her?

Touching her face to go in for the kiss.

At this point you?re sealing the deal so obviously don?t start with this one.

We want to work our way up to this after we?ve already established physical contact and gotten positive reinforcement from her.

One time I was at a party and I saw a hot girl talking to a group of guys and we held eye contact for a moment before she looked away.

I walked into the circle of guys she was talking to, put my hand around the back of her neck with my palm and thumb on her cheek, and pulled her in so I was talking into her ear.

I told her that I thought she was very attractive and I?d like to talk to her in a more quiet setting just her and I and then I handed her my phone.

She put her number in my phone and I walked away.

I didn?t know any of the guys she was talking to but I knew from a mutual friend that none of them were her boyfriend?

I had completely interrupted their conversation and I still got the win.? The moral of the story is how powerful breaking the touch barrier with confidence can be if used correctly.

Do with that what you will?


Pro Tips

  • There is an awesome ted Talk by Amy Cuddy about the power of posing and how it can influence your confidence and posture. I strongly suggest you watch it and apply the tactics she talks about before going on a first date to help you feel more natural in exuding a dominant and confident posture.


  • IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY TOUCH HER BUTT. It can happen so if you are trying to touch the small of her back and accidentally go too far south DON?T PANIC?REMAIN CONFIDENT.? Quickly move your hand to the small of her back where you intended it to be but don?t say anything right away.? Gauge her reaction to it.? If she doesn?t say anything then you?re in there.? Still address it though by saying something like ?I?m sorry I was trying to be gentleman, but I fucked it up a little.? You were a good sport about it though? and then laugh at yourself.? This takes the power away from her in case she was planning on saying something and now you both know that she wasn?t all that offended by it.? If she says something about it then you can still say the same thing but now you know it was a bit too soon.? Just make sure you address it before she does and you?ll still be in the clear.

Stay thirsty my friends,


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About Van Bender Van Bender is a writer and coach specializing in becoming the alpha, the art of attraction and hacking the friendzone. Check out my website and subscribe for exclusive content

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