11 Easy Ways To Meet Women When Traveling
Dating women when traveling is incredibly rewarding. Not only can you meet amazing women, but you get a lot of insight into cultural differences that both enrich your traveling experience and challenge a lot of your assumptions about women and dating in general.
Who knows, you might even end up in an incredible relationship with an exotic girlfriend. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it?
If you’re a single guy looking to improve his dating life, there’s really no reason not to try this at least once. But despite this, a lot of guys invent reasons not to. Or should I say, one reason…
One of the most common reasons guys don’t do this is they assume the language barrier is going to be a massive problem, but this is far from the truth. The language barrier, rather than being an obstacle, is actually something that makes your dating experience better.
First off, I’ve dated women in just about every country I’ve traveled to – across Europe, Asia, and South America – and in all of these places, I’ve had no trouble meeting women who speak decent English. Sure, they’re not as fluent as back home, but they all have a grasp of the language. So the idea that you’re going to struggle to communicate is a bit of a myth.
Second, the flaws in their English (and your attempts at their language) actually force you to put more effort into the connection, and victories you have in that connection are all the more rewarding because of the difficulties at achieving them. Because the language barrier actively serves as a cause for greater investment, you both invest a lot more in the relationship.
Lastly, just because you don’t speak the same language as someone doesn’t mean you can’t go on a great date with them. I’ve been on dates where neither of us spoke the same language. Her English was non-existent, and my Portuguese extended to “você fala inglês?” (yes that means what you think it means). But we made it work despite this.
We drew pictures, communicated through google translate, and got to the kissing a lot faster than we normally would. 90% of communication is non-verbal, and experiencing this first hand through language barriers actually makes your confidence in dating grow exponentially.
Because you realize how little you need to do.
The longer your stay, the better your results. If you’re flying through a city for a few days, you’re going to have to put a disproportionate amount of effort into meeting someone, dating them, or even just hooking up.
This means you’ll be having to spend a lot of time going out, and likely, a lot of time messaging on online dating apps.
So the first easy way to meet women when traveling is to travel slower. Even though that’s not a “way” per se, it’s something that passively effects every single piece of advice that follows.
Travel slower. Spend longer in one place.
Simply put, you’ll be required to put in less effort, and the pool of women that will be receptive to you will be much larger, as you’ll be capable of spending more time with them than just one night.
Now, assuming you’ve done that, here’s what you want to do:
If you want to meet women when traveling, then you’re going to have to learn to do a bunch of things well. Chief among these is building a social circle. Alongside traveling slow, your attitude needs to be prosocial.
This is a key to dating in general, but in traveling this is amplified tenfold, as you’re often completely on your own. So this really is the most important thing you want to do. And you want to do it for two reasons:
When you’re meeting people all the time, creating new friendships, and engaging with new experiences socially, your mood and your opportunities to meet women are greatly increased. These two things interact positively with your dating life in a massive way.
The better you feel, the better your interactions with women will be. The more women you interact with, the more likely it is you’ll meet one who’s as into you as you are into her.
And this is all on top of having a great time with new friends.
The final reason you want to do this is that women you meet via this kind of organic social osmosis are going to be much more receptive to you than if you’re just some random guy approaching her on the street or another photo on a dating app. This goes for whether you have mutual friends, or mutual interests by way of hobbies.
That said, I wouldn’t discount those two avenues either. Especially online dating.
Where meeting women through cold approach and online dating can be difficult in your home country, it is somewhat easier when traveling as you naturally, by way of being a foreigner, screen for women who are attracted to foreigners. You stand out from the crowd more.
Whether it’s on an app or in a nightclub, these women generally give you far more signals to approach (or just, ya know, match with you), and are much more receptive to talking to you and going on a date. This is basic screening in action, and it’s great because it all just happens passively without you even doing anything.
Here’s a simple model I generally follow when I travel to a new country. I do most of this whenever I travel to a new place. I rarely stick to it 100% (you don’t have to either) but it will cover all the bases and develop a great social and dating experience for you in whatever country you’re in.
Here’s what you want to do:
Stop over thinking it and just do it. If you don’t know what country you’re going to, what dates you’re traveling, and where you’re staying, then the following steps are just wishful thinking. Stop overthinking it and get it booked.
Most countries I’ve been to have a “that country” version of Ok Cupid or a similar online dating site. Just google the country name and then cupid (i.e. Colombian cupid).
Make a profile and start talking to women before you arrive. The fact that you’re foreign will screen for the ones who are into you automatically, but all the online dating basics of having good pictures still apply.
Get the paid version of tinder and change your location to the country and location (I.e. Sydney, Australia as opposed to Australia) you’re going to. Then start swiping. Start matching. Start talking.
For points 2) and 3) make it clear you’re arriving in the country on whatever date you are, to avoid confusion. I also personally err on the side of letting them know how long I’ll be there, as it’s the decent thing to do for women who are looking for something more committed.
Want to learn salsa? Find a salsa class. Want to learn MMA? Find an MMA class. If you can book before you arrive, do it. If you can’t, just figure out what you want to do and where it is. These will be your bread and butter once you’re there.
My general approach is that I only go to things I have a genuine interest in, but I try to separate things between more male-centric activities (i.e. boxing) and more female-centric ones (i.e. salsa). The former adds more variety to my social life, and the latter lends itself more to dating.
By now you should be speaking to some women and be in a position to line up some dates. Don’t overcomplicate it, just get their number, chat to them on WhatsApp, and ask them out to meet up a few days after you arrive (you want to settle in first).
If you aren’t speaking to any women, go back to online dating basics and get better pictures.
Pack your bags, jump on the plane, and enjoy the hours of crappy food and in-flight movies.
Whatever hobbies you found – go to them. I’d go to 2-3 per week. Your social life will balloon the more you do this.
If there are women at the social hobbies, start chatting to them and see if you find them interesting or attractive. Get a sense if they are too.
Talk to the guys at whatever hobbies you’re going to. Ask them what they’re doing, and ask if you can join. This might sound weird, but if you get on with them, it’s perfectly okay and it’s something I do all the time. They’ll understand that you’re a traveler and actually enjoy the novelty of hanging out what you.
Just a few weeks ago this ended up with my driving through the dark at 1 am to go to a party in the jungle with some Indonesian locals. Crazy experiences happen all the time when you do this.
Not only will it just be fun to hang out with them, but they’re also great wingmen on a night out, as well as having social circles they’ll introduce you to. Again, that ballooning effect in action.
As you go about your life (whether it be buying stuff from shops or eating at restaurants) get chatting to local women you find attractive. These can be waitresses, shop assistants, or just women on the street. Get in the habit of doing this and it becomes a lot easier.
If you’ve done all this you should have some dates lined up. If not from social hobbies or cold approaching, then definitely from online dating. Go on these dates, have a great time.
Hopefully, you find a girl you click with, then who knows, you might even end up in a mini-relationship, or possibly even a long-term one. I’ve seen it before.
Then, once you’ve done all this – just enjoy your holiday. Go see a waterfall, visit a museum, or go fishing at 5 am with a local. Then once you’ve bid the country adieu, I want you to apply all the steps back at home.
Because… Why wouldn’t you?
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About John Matich John is a writer from the UK who splits his time between travelling the world and trying to find unconventional solutions to dating and personal development. You can find more from him at www.lifeuncivilized.com.