What To Talk About On A Date
If you’ve been scrolling the web for advice on things to say to a woman, you’ll probably have already heard that it’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it.
This is absolutely true. Your vibe, body language and voice tonality communicate so much more about you than the words coming out your mouth.
Once you realise this, it’s a life-changing moment. You never have to worry about ‘running out of things to say’ again?
But what if you haven’t realised this yet?
Maybe you’re just getting started with daygame.
Perhaps you’re an introvert who struggles to speak with confidence and assertiveness.
Who knows? You might be going on your first date ever…
In this situation, it would make sense that you’re after an actual list of things to talk about on a date. Below are 14 ideas for things you could say.
Maybe it’s an observation. “Wow, we both like strong beer. That’s a bad sign.”
Maybe it’s speculation. “We are not going to get along.”
Maybe it’s future plans. “We should go and visit my dog after these drinks.”
Comment on anything she’s wearing. Offer your opinion on what going on within the surroundings.
Yes, you could ask boring interview style questions – Where are you from, what do you do, do you come here often? – but assumptions make this seem less like an interview or an interrogation.
If you trying to pull her home, this needs to be done at some point. Where does she live? What does she have planned for the rest of the day? What is she doing in the morning?
So many guys make the mistakes of being sold on a woman just because she’s hot. This is boring and predictable for a woman as it leaves no space for her to chase.
Don’t be that guy. Instead, decide what personality traits your ideal woman should have, then ask questions (or make assumptions) that’ll help you find out if she has them.
Teasing her shows you’re comfortable around her and not intimidated by her beauty. Light-heartedly decide some undesirable personality quality she has (messy, ditzy, bitchy, stuck up) then make assumptions or call her out on this. It’s usually best to pick a quality she clearly doesn’t have.
Talk about your passions. If you speak about any topic with enough enthusiasm, it’s possible to draw people in. Women want to see that you have a passion for something.
If there’s a joke you’d tell in front of your buddies, make it here. There’s no point filtering your true personality just because she’s beautiful. Women hate being put on pedestal like this. For all you know, she has a dorky sense of humor too. Most people do – and having the social freedom to tell these jokes can be attractive. It beats being bland.
A lot of shy guys are scared to show their intent, leaving women confused as to whether they’re on a date at all. Don’t be afraid to compliment anything you like about her appearance.
The most common conversational tip is LISTEN. She’ll offer conversational branches for you to swing from all the time. It sounds obvious, but if you’re too stuck in your head thinking of things to say, you might not listen properly.
Whenever a conversation is stuck in the present moment, it’s seconds away from dying. By moving it into the past or future, it can live forever.
For example, if she says: “This cocktail is tasty.”
You could go into the past…
“I bet you never used to drink cocktails, but then you met your classy friends and started drinking them.”
“I can already picture what you’re going to look like if you have one more of those.”
Both options beat remaining in the present
“Yeah, mine is nice too.”
It’s good to have a pre-prepared excuse for the two of you to go home together. Mention this excuse before you’re ready to leave, so it’s not a big surprise when you bring it up again later.
If she laughed at something when you’d previously met, bring it up again.
If you’re dating a millennial, she’ll probably love it.
Hopefully this list helps you feel more comfortable going out to meet new people.
However, it remains true that the most important thing is to speak with confidence and assertiveness.
If you believe what you have to say is awesome, she’ll typically feel the same way. Once you’re at this point, you really can get away with most conversation topics.
About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>