20 Mindset Shifts To Conquer Your Fear Of Rejection
The fear of rejection ruins our shot at being successful with women.
For whatever reason, this fear of not getting the girl stops you even trying, guaranteeing that you don’t get her.
This fear frustrates a lot of guys because it’s so illogical, yet so real in the moment.
Below is a list of 20 mindset shifts to help you fight this fear and go after the woman you truly desire.
Most people aren’t even trying to be great at anything. The only way to avoid rejection is to settle for being average.
All interactions are 50/50. All you can do is your very best with your 50%.
Get fun wingmen. Practice self-amusement. Praise yourself for whatever you did well. Enjoy the feeling of social freedom. It’s possible to enjoy the process of trying to win at sports. It’s the same with talking to women.
She didn’t reject you. She just rejected your approach.
You’re not supposed to have chemistry with everyone. If two people don’t have chemistry, they’re equally responsible.
Don’t be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This’ll put you in a good mood ready to approach the next woman.
If there’s something you could have done better, write it down. This way, rejection gives you the chance to improve over time.
Go and approach someone else as soon as possible. You now have the chance to create an epic ‘triumph in adversity’ story.
Take some time to explore what’s great about yourself. Rejection only hurts when you see women as “above” you.
If you were aiming to give a woman something amazing, would you feel bad if she rejected it? The problem is: most guys approach women wanting to receive good vibes, validation, sex etc. When they don’t get it, it feels like a failure.
Twist this attitude around and focus on what you’re offering the woman. This could be a compliment, an awesome night or a lifetime of happiness with a high-value man, depending on how far each of you want to take it.
Rejections hit harder if you believe you’re missing out on something that would truly improve your life. Of course, if she’s a stranger, you have no idea whether that would be the case.
Either way, concentrate on building a life that is awesome with or without one particular woman in it. Once you’re already happy with your life, no individual rejections truly matter.
Rejection stings a lot harder when you see yourself as the super-cool guy who doesn’t embarrass himself. Try these exercises to stop taking yourself so seriously.
They tend to be really unhappy with their lives. Thank God they didn’t invite you to be a part of it.
The harshest rejections make for the funniest stories. In the long run, they don’t matter at all.
A lot of people worry about ‘what other people think’ when they approach a woman in public. The truth is: no-one really cares what strangers are doing with their lives. They’re too busy worrying about their own problems.
In fact, many of the world’s biggest successes have probably been rejected the most times. Go and read the backstories of Sylvester Stallone, Eminem, J.K Rowling and other celebrities at the top of their fields. The world’s best pick-up coaches have been rejected by women than anyone.
That feeling of wondering ‘what if’ can burn inside you for days, weeks or years.
No matter how rejections you took during a night out, you’ll wake up feeling better (provided you didn’t drink too much…)
If you’re out regularly practicing pick-up skills, you’re doing so to get better with women overall. No individual rejection really matters in the long run.
The beautiful irony of shifting your attitude in this way is: you’ll be rejected less often. When you approach women without that fear of being rejected or the stench of “needing” something from her, they’re much quicker to relax around you.
You stand out from every other anxious, needy guy. This is compelling. It’s attractive. It’s an energy she wants to be around. By removing the fear, you help to eliminate what you were afraid of.
For this reason, it’s a great idea to internalise these 20 mindset shifts today.
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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>