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20 Mindset Shifts To Conquer Your Fear Of Rejection

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The fear of rejection ruins our shot at being successful with women.

For whatever reason, this fear of not getting the girl stops you even trying, guaranteeing that you don’t get her.

This fear frustrates a lot of guys because it’s so illogical, yet so real in the moment.

Below is a list of 20 mindset shifts to help you fight this fear and go after the woman you truly desire.

1. See rejection as a sign you’re trying to be better

Most people aren’t even trying to be great at anything. The only way to avoid rejection is to settle for being average.

2. Remember that you can’t manipulate women

All interactions are 50/50. All you can do is your very best with your 50%.

3. Learn to enjoy the process of talking to women, rather than just sleeping with them

Get fun wingmen. Practice self-amusement. Praise yourself for whatever you did well. Enjoy the feeling of social freedom. It’s possible to enjoy the process of trying to win at sports. It’s the same with talking to women.

4. Separate your sense of self from rejections

She didn’t reject you. She just rejected your approach.

5. Reframe rejections as “a lack of chemistry”

You’re not supposed to have chemistry with everyone. If two people don’t have chemistry, they’re equally responsible.

6. Use rejection as an opportunity to say something that makes you laugh

Don’t be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This’ll put you in a good mood ready to approach the next woman.

7. Learn from your mistakes

If there’s something you could have done better, write it down. This way, rejection gives you the chance to improve over time.

8. Don’t dwell on rejection for too long

Go and approach someone else as soon as possible. You now have the chance to create an epic ‘triumph in adversity’ story.

9. Work on your self-esteem

Take some time to explore what’s great about yourself. Rejection only hurts when you see women as “above” you.

10. Aim to improve her day

If you were aiming to give a woman something amazing, would you feel bad if she rejected it? The problem is: most guys approach women wanting to receive good vibes, validation, sex etc. When they don’t get it, it feels like a failure.

Twist this attitude around and focus on what you’re offering the woman. This could be a compliment, an awesome night or a lifetime of happiness with a high-value man, depending on how far each of you want to take it.

11. Build a life that would be awesome with or without this woman

Rejections hit harder if you believe you’re missing out on something that would truly improve your life. Of course, if she’s a stranger, you have no idea whether that would be the case.

Either way, concentrate on building a life that is awesome with or without one particular woman in it. Once you’re already happy with your life, no individual rejections truly matter.

The 7 Anti Rejection Mindsets

12. Kill your ego

Rejection stings a lot harder when you see yourself as the super-cool guy who doesn’t embarrass himself. Try these exercises to stop taking yourself so seriously.

13. Celebrate the fact that rejections will kill any remaining ego that’s alive within you

Humility rocks.

14. Realise that fat, ugly girls often give the harshest rejections

They tend to be really unhappy with their lives. Thank God they didn’t invite you to be a part of it.

15. Learn to laugh at yourself

The harshest rejections make for the funniest stories. In the long run, they don’t matter at all.

16. Notice how no-one else cared that you got rejected

A lot of people worry about ‘what other people think’ when they approach a woman in public. The truth is: no-one really cares what strangers are doing with their lives. They’re too busy worrying about their own problems.

17. Remember that everyone gets rejected

In fact, many of the world’s biggest successes have probably been rejected the most times. Go and read the backstories of Sylvester Stallone, Eminem, J.K Rowling and other celebrities at the top of their fields. The world’s best pick-up coaches have been rejected by women than anyone.

18. Remember that pussying out typically feels worse than rejection

That feeling of wondering ‘what if’ can burn inside you for days, weeks or years.

19. Go to sleep

No matter how rejections you took during a night out, you’ll wake up feeling better (provided you didn’t drink too much…)

20. Keep the long game in mind

If you’re out regularly practicing pick-up skills, you’re doing so to get better with women overall. No individual rejection really matters in the long run.

The beautiful irony of shifting your attitude in this way is: you’ll be rejected less often. When you approach women without that fear of being rejected or the stench of “needing” something from her, they’re much quicker to relax around you.

You stand out from every other anxious, needy guy. This is compelling. It’s attractive. It’s an energy she wants to be around. By removing the fear, you help to eliminate what you were afraid of.

For this reason, it’s a great idea to internalise these 20 mindset shifts today.

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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin is a lifestyle writer and confidence coach currently living as a digital nomad across Europe and Asia. You can download his FREE e-book 'How To Conquer Social Anxiety' at https://bit.ly/2MBxm4N

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