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How To Date An Introvert

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Dating an introvert can be difficult if you don’t understand their nature 

Many typical introvert behaviors can be mistaken for disinterest.

A lot of guys give up too soon on introverted girls, because they’re not giving any clear signs of interest. Maybe you’ve told yourself that you’re not interested in this type of girl at all.

However, it’s well worth learning how to date an introverted woman. Once they get to know you, these women tend to bring incredible loyalty, fascinating conversation and minimal stress to a relationship. 

Where to meet introverted women 

You’re unlikely to find introverted women in hyper-social environments like nightclubs or music festivals, at least not late enough to pull her home. Even if you do, it’s rare that they’re brave or outgoing enough to follow some guy home for a one-night stand.  

Many introverts may use online dating to try and find a nice boyfriend, but it can often take a lot of back and forth before she’s comfortable enough to meet you. A key downside of online dating is that it’s almost impossible to build a strong emotional connection or any sort of real-life chemistry, and this is often required before an introverted woman agrees to meet up for a date.

Daygame is a great way to meet introverted women (or any particular type of woman). They all leave the house, after all. Don’t believe the silly stereotype that introverts are locked inside their bedroom all day. 

However, your most effective strategy is to meet these types of women through their social circle. If you’re attending the same clubs and events, the repeat exposure will do a lot to make her more comfortable around you. Alternatively, if you’re recommended to her by one of her friends, this can do a lot to ease the nerves of meeting a new guy. 

How to win over an introvert 

A defining factor of an introvert’s personality is that they become by drained by socializing. A single introverted woman may be longing to meet a great guy, but will rarely attend parties or huge social events to meet them because she finds it exhausting. She may find the process of meeting new people to be anxiety-inducing. The smalltalk which typically occurs during this process may frustrate her. These are just a few reasons why you shouldn’t expect her to be overly receptive when you first approach her. 

It’s generally recommended that a guy should be prepared to carry the conversation during the opening minutes of meeting an attractive woman, because the woman is likely to be scoping him out to see if he’s the real deal. Often, during these moments, she won’t give any signs that she’s enjoying his company. To win her over, it’s up to the man to remain fun and confident in his own skin without any encouragement. 

This is especially true when meeting introverted women. They tend to be the most skeptical during the opening moments of a cold-approach. In fact, they’re likely to feel genuinely uncomfortable when being approached by any stranger, let alone some strange guy who’s hitting on them.   

To stand any chance of winning these women over, you need to master the art of carrying a conversation without running out of things to say.

How to behave on the date  

Introverts are frustrated by smalltalk. They’re more stimulated by meaningful conversation, so don’t be afraid to open up. Deep personal conversation topics are more likely to be in her comfort zone than dragging her to the dancefloor or to meet your friends.  

Bear this in mind when asking her out on a date as well. She’s more likely to agree and turn up to a cosy cafe than a busy bar or some sort of group activity. 

And the truth is: she still might cancel even if she likes you and it’s a relatively peaceful date idea. On some days, introverts will simply not feel up to the task of dating a new person. 

Don’t automatically think she’s lost interest in you. The idea might simply have proved to be too overwhelming on that day. Be empathetic and try to rearrange. 

If she does turn up, but struggles to fully open up to you, remain patient and empathize. Show that you accept her personality and she’ll start to show you more of it. Encourage her when she says something interesting or funny. Ask questions that encourage her to express herself. Teasing or questioning why she’s ‘shy’ won’t help to solve the problem. 

Creating a successful relationship with introverts

A successful relationship with an introvert will involve compromise, empathy and communication. 

If you’re someone who likes to be social, she’ll need to accept that. You may want to her to agree to accompany you to certain events. At the same time, you’ll need to understand if she wants to opt out of the occasional big night out or leave early.  

Perhaps sometimes she appears to act a bit off around certain people, but understand this is how an introvert appears to an untrained eye. 

In return for this understanding, you’re likely to receive a girlfriend who truly appreciates time spent with you. At the same time, she’s likely to be comfortable with time spent on her own, so there’s little risk of an overbearing relationship. 

Although it might seem like hard work on the front end, you can create truly strong bonds with introverted women. Once you learn how to handle then, these types of women tend to be keepers. 

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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>

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