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How To Get Physical On A Date

Date Night 123 Tsb

It’s crucial to escalate at the correct speed 

You absolutely need to get physical on a first date. If you don’t make any sort of move on her, she’s going to think that: 

  • you didn’t like her; 
  • you’re a pussy.

Neither of these conclusions will inspire her to want to see you again. 

However, if you push things forward too quickly, this could also put her off for a number of reasons. 

In this guide, we’ll explore how to physically escalate at the correct speed on a first date.

How to get physical: the basics

Here’s a basic principle to remember: start small and escalate at a pace she’s comfortable with.

You can begin the date with innocent, non-obtrusive physical gestures

Here are some ideas: 

  • Hug her to say hello.
  • Fiddle with her jewellery while showing interest in it.  
  • Lead her somewhere by the hand.
  • Playful brushes of her arm or leg if she says something cool or funny.
  • Playful pushes away if she says something stupid. 

Whenever you’re physical with her, pay attention to her response. She’ll respond in one of three ways and it’s important that you react in the right manner. 

  • A ‘yes’ response. She’s comfortable and allows you to make your move. She smiles, leans into it and maybe even reciprocates. In this case, know that you can progress to something more daring later. 
  • A ‘maybe’ response. She lets it happen but doesn’t seem particularly comfortable or happy with it. Consider it an amber light. In this case, you can progress at the same pace, but be aware that she might not be ready for something more daring. 
  • A ‘no’ response. She tenses up and pulls away. In this case, you need to STOP. You don’t necessarily need to address it or apologise. It’s better to carry on talking as if it was no big deal. Try something else a bit later.  

In most cases, the more time you spend with her, the more comfortable she becomes with you, the more open she’ll be to getting physical.

Here are some ideas for more daring moves to make after stacking these ‘yes’ responses. 

  • Hold her hand.
  • Whispering in her ear.
  • Asking if she’s sporty and playfully squeezing her arms or abs. 
  • Grabbing her hands for a quick salsa dance. 

Keep receiving ‘yes’ responses? Then, by all means ramp up the escalation even faster. 

  • Pulling her in close to you. 
  • Kissing.
  • Nibbling on her ears and neck.
  • Rubbing her hands on your chest and abs.
  • Grinding with her on the dancefloor (if there’s music playing). 

Hopefully this all turns her on enough for you to be able to pull her home and get even more physical in the bedroom. 

What if she doesn’t let me get physical at all?

Some women take longer to open up than others, and it’s not always a reflection of how she feels about you.

It could be that she doesn’t want to get too physical in public and feel judged by the people around her.  

In this situation, it’s still recommended to proceed with whatever physical gestures she is comfortable with. You can also flirt verbally.

On a date like this, it’s still relatively common that she’ll agree to come to your place, provided she likes you. Often, you’ll find she opens up once you’re in a more private setting. 

The biggest mistake that men make on first dates

The biggest mistake that men make on the first date is not making enough moves.

This mistake typically stems from the fear of going for a kiss (or making some other daring physical gesture) and being rejected. 

The date won’t be ruined if you do this (provided you don’t react like it’s a big deal). It just means you’re going a tiny bit too fast. In fact, if you’re unflustered by her rejection, this can make her like you more. Non-neediness is attractive.

However, a date will be ruined if you don’t try and get physical enough with her. 

If a woman gets dressed up for a date, she wants you to try and push things forward. Aim to at least try and kiss her or take her back to your place on the first date. Give her the chance to say yes or no. If she turns you down, she’ll at least respect that you have the confidence to go for what you want. 

She’ll rarely think you’re a gentleman for not making a move. In most cases, she’ll feel annoyed, frustrated and in no mood to risk feeling like that at the end of a second date. 

With that said, it is still in your best interests not to stack too many ‘no’ responses in a row. This can make you come across as a socially unaware creep.

By starting with these innocent gestures and moving forwards slowly, there is no reason for you to do that. 

The argument for not escalating too much on the date

One of the most effective methods of inviting a woman back to your place is to come up with an innocent excuse for her to come.

Maybe it’s to watch a movie. Perhaps it’s one last drink after closing time. It could be that you want to show her something awesome in your house.  

Deep down, you both know that this could lead to sex, That excuse gives her the plausible deniability that ‘one thing led to another’ and ‘it just happened’. There was still some mystery as to whether it would actually happen or not. This is enough to prevent most women from feeling guilty about being too easy. 

However, getting too sexual at the date location can kill this mystery. 

If you’ve been playing tonsil-tennis at the bar for hours, then invite her back to yours, it becomes too obvious that you’re going to try and have sex with her. It ruins her plausible deniability, and makes it harder for her to go with you (presuming she cares about her reputation as a ‘good girl’).

With this in mind, the best strategy is to escalate a bit, then invite her back to yours where you can go all the way. 

Some quick tips for smooth physical escalation

  • Sit next to her, not opposite.  A closer proximity will make it much easier to get physical. If necessary, visit your date location beforehand, so you can find a spot where it’s possible to sit next to her.
  • Escalate at an emotional high point. When you make her laugh or tell a shocking punchline, this is the optimum time to pull her in for a hug etc. 
  • Make eye contact. You can communicate so much sexuality to her just with your eyes. If you struggle to make eye contact, you’ll struggle to make a personal connection and often come across as weak, shy or untrustworthy.  
  • Get into her personal space. Close enough that a stranger would feel uncomfortable. If she doesn’t back away, it’s a sign that things are going well. If she does, she’s perhaps not ready to be kissed.  
  • Place her hand on top of yours. If she leaves it there, she’s almost definitely ready to be kissed.

Don’t be scared

Getting physical on a date can be intimidating. In many cases, you have no idea how she’ll respond and it’s never nice to be turned down.

Hopefully the following facts will comfort you. 

  • If she agrees to a date, she wants you to make a move (albeit at a pace she’s comfortable with).
  • A ‘no’ response won’t ruin the date. As long as you stop and brush it off as no big deal, it won’t be one.
  • Once you master the art of physical escalation and pulling her home smoothly, most of your first dates will go all the way.  

Have fun out there!

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Simple Trick Tells You if a Girl Wants You to Kiss Her

Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?

Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.

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About Joe Elvin Joe Elvin travels the world working remotely as a lifestyle writer and confidence coach. Throughout 2017, he filmed his entire dating life as part of a national television documentary in the UK. His new book 'The Camera Never Lies' details the brutal truths about dating and relationships learned from this experience. You can learn more about the book and download the first chapter for free by clicking here >>

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