Day #22: A “Powerful” Way to Get the Date
“I’m hungry…
“Come over to my house. And we’ll head over to The Barnyard for a burger and some beers. Wear something cute and summery.”
Most guys would not have the balls to say that to a woman.
Especially if they were just setting up a first or second date.
They are afraid they might “offend” the woman. Or seem to dominant.
Or they’ll think “Maybe she doesn’t like burgers.”
Here is how most guys would handle this conversation:
“Hey, what are you doing? Oh. Are you hungry? What do you feel like eating? Do you like burgers? I was thinking burgers and beer at the Barnyard. Is that okay? Cool. What time should I pick you up?”
The very second after that conversation ends, you have just handed over a large portion of your power to the woman. On a silver platter.
And you will most likely never get it back.
Many of you on the surface say that you understand that women like a man who takes charge, is confident, and leads.
Yet, when it comes down to it… you are too scared to act in this manner.
Do you find that you are continually giving your power away to beautiful women?
Even giving power away to average women?
Here is what you need to understand.
You look around a bar and see the majority of women with men fawning over them. In many cases, even fat and ugly women have their pick of men.
So we begin to believe that women have the power.
But this isn’t the case.
The real power is held by the small fraction of men at the very top who actually give women what they want.
These men understand that by holding onto their natural born power… women will ALWAYS play the role of the pursuer.
Women are looking to take that power. But once you give it to them. You suddenly go from pursued to pursuer. And the woman now holds the power. And what happens when she holds the power? She gets BORED.
——–Common Ways Men Give Away Power———
Most men give away their power within seconds simply through the act of showing hesitation before the approach.
If you call a woman to set up a date, but then wait for her to give you the “okay” before taking the lead and setting it up. You’ve just given her the power.
If you’re with a woman and sense that it’s an appropriate moment to kiss her… but don’t. You’ve just given her the power.
If you’re driving her around, paying for everything, always calling, and putting up with her flaky behavior. You’ve just given her the power.
And once you give away power… it is VERY hard to get it back.
———/Common Ways Men Give Away Power———
The best way to keep your power is to set the precedent early on.
And if she doesn’t meet your expectations?
Be willing to walk away.
On Day 4 you learned that that the bad boy’s greatest power lies in his lack of fear.
In other words, his willingness to walk away.
The easiest way to do this is to know exactly what you want out of life.
And always be moving toward IT.
You need to be on a mission for specific results.
You need to have a clearly defined vision of what you want. And “IT” needs to mean more to you than some cute girl you’re chatting with in the bar.
She may leave… but “IT” will always be there.
When you are out, define how your night is going to go.
Decide who you feel like talking to. And talk to them.
Take control of the conversation immediately. Hold onto the more dominant frame throughout the interaction.
You are the judge.
You are talking to her to see if she fits into the reality you’ve defined for yourself.
Maintain the control.
When you feel the conversation run its course. End it. Tell her you’ll call her later.
When you call, tell her what you want to do. Tell her to come over. Tell her to wear something cute.
And if she doesn’t.
Be willing to walk away.
Be bold!
Bonus Video: #1 Most Attractive Trait You Can Display
7 mindset shifts for thinking like a player
Bobby Rio
P.S. Tomorrow I’m going to share a very embarrassing story of the world’s worst first date.
Or a better name would be “How to Make Sure You Never Get a Second Date.’
P.P.S. If you’re constantly “giving your power away” to girls then WATCH THIS VIDEO
Previous Lesson: Day 21
{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
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So I met this girl got her number and texted her a flirty text 3 hours later and she got offended and never replied. I walked away. Another girl was giving me the 3 hour text interval. I walked away too much of a hassle. Honestly bobby been using your stuff and it really works.keep it up bro
Damn bro – that was the most straight forward lesson. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
I really needed this one today- Some chick stopped talking to me because she was “offended” by my flirty text. I could have been pissed, I could have thought about what was wrong with *me* but I went back to the weight room, and back to The Scrambler
The lesson here is see lots of women…let it be known…and if a specific female becomes too much of hassle? So fucking what!!! There are plenty of qualified women just waiting to be had by guys like us!
Hi Bobby,
Great material! I’m a 51-year-old guy who between relationships has been out on the scene since I was 21 and I’ve always had good game. Through the years I modified my approach which seemed logical because I was supposedly “growing up” and supposedly dealing with ” grown-up women”. But I began to notice that my success level wasn’t what it used to be. To a certain extent it’s useful to modify the approach with an older woman but I went overboard and over the years lost that killer instinct.. Your great advice has helped me regain my game big time! With certain modifications, it still works on an allegedly “mature woman”! A million thanks, my friend.
Hopefully I can indulge you with one question. There is a girl at my job that caught my eye (yes, THAT GIRL! – We all have one). I work in a large hospital and would notice her working away at her station. You have to be careful in a job situation; I can’t just walk up to her station and start chatting. Finally, one day I saw her in the hallway. I struck up a conversation– my game was good and within minutes we exchanged phone numbers.. I left a message on her voicemail several days later but never heard back from her. I recently called her and she said she was on the other line with her sister. I gave her my number and she said she would call back. She didn’t.
If I have to let this girl go, then that’s how it is. My question is this: what’s the best way to react if I see her in the hall again? Obviously, if I let her know I’m disappointed, I look like a sap and I’m dead in the water. Totally ignoring her may come across as me being hurt, which would also make me look like a sap. Do you have any advice how to best react? If so I would greatly appreciate it.
PS: It’s a landline so I can’t text her.
Guys, if you do not get one thing out of these videos or e-mails this lesson is the most important one you will ever hear. It took me years to figure this out and after watching men even in my own family give away power and lead semi charmed lives and by personally learning the hard way I discovered this about 2 years ago. I am still mastering it. It does two things it gives you confidence to find that type of women you really will be proud to have and it WEEDS OUT ALL THOSE WITH NO SUBSTANCE AND WOULD QUITE FRANKLY MAKE YOU LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY LEAVING YOU WANTING MORE BUT NOT ABLE TO GET IT. Having been in a three month relationship with a fantastic women that is marriage material I can attest this is one of the qualities that attracted her to me. Those that say NO to this mindset show their inadequacies!
Thanks Bobby, not just for this lesson but for all of them so far!
talk about a total mentality makeover!
This really makes sense…….. I really am learning a lot from you Bobby.
As one of my favourite quote from Master Yoda of Starwars. ” Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose”
She’s doing those things to tantalize you. It validates her ego to have you get excited about those pics, then if you show too much interest she shoots you down. She’s getting a real kick out of seeing you squirm, as though a piece of meat is being dangled in front of a wild dog only to have it snatched away.
You should ignore her texts, and then if she asks why you are ignoring her, say you are sick and tired of her flaunting her body in front of you only to have it whisked from grasp.
Unless you are in a personal situation where you can say the above, and then grab her by the hair, kiss her passionately and then bear her down onto a mattress. But such a measure would require great masculine power and dominance which you might not be able to muster.
So for now just ignore her.
Hey bobby, here’s my dilemma. This is working great, and it definately get her attention. But I’m stuck in the friend zone, but have her sending pics to me of her laying in bikinis, going to the store and taking pics in the dressing room of her trying on cute little clothes, bikinis just about anything. Every time I try to get her to go out she has an excuse and can’t go? She will flirt with me all day long, then changes and remindes me of the friend zone that I’m in. It’s driving me crazy, I don’t know if to just ignore her texts or keep pursing her? I would like to know what you think?
Alex M
hey Bobby
After I met a good looking girl in a club. we meet the firts time after texting in a different city that she was going for a wedding friend party. so, that night we went out. we went to a night club, wich work perfect so far for me. we end up making up, and but no more than that ( hughes and kisses), so, everything was going perfect, that she invited me to stay that night in the same hotel roo, wich a deside to no stay that night there, because her friend was goint to stay there too! i though if I deside to stay that night if the same room, nothing is going to happend! so i desided maybe in another opportunity i will try to stay with her. So, later maybe one moth or two months later, I met her againg, so I met her in a night club (in her city) we live in different cities
That she asked me if i dont have a place to stay “you can come over and stay that night, just go to my apt and wait for me cuz i need to take my friends to theirs houses! I took the wrong decition to stay in my parent in Love home, insted of going to her apt! 🙁
so, we met the next day in the morning for breaksfast, then i got back homed! after that we were still in touch texting until one time i deside just to show up one night to bring some flowers and a romantic later! but she was hanging out, so a text her to let her know that i was in her town, and letting her know that i got something for her! and she replied saying if they are some flower, leave next to the door. The next day she texted saying, “never send to a girl red flowers or red rosses. these is specially to someone that is so sick in the hospital or for someone that is having a graduation party'” never do that, please.
anyways when i did that we already have had 2 years of meeting eachg other o texting. My question is: can i try to text or look for her again? after a year ago that it happened! her birthday was yesteday and i would like to text her! or I can text her in another day. if yes, what can i say to her? please help me with this!!! thanks.
I believe I understand this fairly well and have kick myself sometimes to take action. One problem I tend to have is situations when either myself or the women is not able to meet up due to situations like her and her children or me and my own life situations , this does not really help my confidence much in taking that sort of direct action and learning to lose fear is something I am working on.
Just today I approached a women while coming back from work who I had no interest in even though she was stunning , felt confident being able to do that and felt sorry for the guy who totally screwed up talking to her. I had no intention to approach her but something just went off in my head to compliment her because I was so impressed with her, she was a singer.
I have fair bit of fear about approaching people that been working on so fear is an issue but this is really good advice for any guy.
Wow! Best advice so far! Never new how much of a “wimp” I was being until now…
Here is a true scenario , i had been going to this grocery store every note or day but mostly at nite it doesnt close until 12 am so its the only place in the area that stays open late & it attracts hot women who come there .Any make a long story short , i had been flirting with 1 paticuliar cashier & after about 2 months i asked her number the reason i waited so long is because i didnt know if i wanted to fool with her any on the nite she gave me her no. 2 cute russian girls were checking out so when i was out side i got the ones number as well well when i sent a text to the russian girl it went to the cashier lol fucked up i forgot to save them into my phone her reply was your a mess smh shake, my head any way i had texted her for a couple of days after that & she busted my balls make then i stopped texting her so when i see her in the store for the 1st time since it happened she walks right by me i said uh oh badness , her reply you have a chance to redeem yourself & your calling me the wrong name then she comes back to the cashier who is ringing me out she says let me tell you what this guy did she tells the story how i had been talking to her for 2 months & send her a text message intended for the russian girl she still had it in her phone the cashier ringing me out shanking her head smiling while im standing there i said im not apolgizing for sexuality , now i go to the store the next night she is behind the register i go over into the lane next to her she says to me im going to emabarass you she tells the other clerk what i did then tells another clerk on the other side as well me i just laugh she pretends to really dislike what took place but to me seems deep down it turned her on & still has my no. in her phone so go figure .I try to act as if nothing happened at all like Bobby says dont make a big deal about it and btw the second time i was there when she was telling that story some how i dont know how it came up but i said to the effect my hormones work just fine her reply was i didnt get a chance to find out lol .feel free to comment on this one lol
Bobby, subscribing your lessons well. Right it is my wake up call. I opened up my eyes to the TRUE WAY OF GETTING GIRLS and now I’m only 21. I only lost 5 crushes so far by hesitating or handing them the power. Now I am willing to lose more BUT only if we can’t work out on the way I get into her pants, and make her my woman. I am still young. Thanks for the gem like advices.
Its true i have caught myself asking is it ok for me to do what i want, now the confidence is high and i take dominant position without saying what i want to say
What if we are in middle of relationship?
I tried to get bolder in middle of my relationship and she started to disagree with me with courage and we have to fight on every single issue now cos she is used to say the last word in decisions all the time.
Whats the rescue here?
the video was removed
Bobby i made this dumb mistake most of my life and did not know that i am giving away my power to the woman i am dealing with.Bobby thank you very much for the information…now i am going to put it to use.
Bobby u r gr8!.. The girl shows all the signs that you mentioned… And i thought she loves me so i asked her to give me her no. But she denied several times… So i think its time to walk away from her .
The more I read, the more I fully understand what I have to do for the next time. I, and all guys have sure made this mistake. That I am sure!
I made the mistake on both my last 2 dates with a girl. I will make sure it does not happen ever again.
“It’s not what happened in the past. It is what you learned from the past and implement for the future.”
Make more than just making it happen!
Devon
Hey man, your youtube video is a dead link….. Do you have a another link….
Where is the video???
I went on YouTube and your account MakeSmallTalkSexy is gone 🙁
Thanks Bobby, this was a real eyeopener. I always lose the girl because I keep giving her the power. You are #1
tnx Bob,this stuff is great. However,can there be a complete package where all ur materials and videos can be found.also,if u can make the videos and books freely available.kip it up,i am addicted.
hey bobby great stuff been using it lately.
hey bobby first i wanna tell you how much i appreciate the advice that you are giving us, you really know what you’re talking about. I lost my confidence for a while but after following your advice I’m really starting to get it back. I was curious if I’m able to fix a certain situation with one girl. I thought that we were pretty interested in each other. i had met her last year, we hung out a couple times but we lost contact. she ended up trying to get a hold of me after about 5 months and we went on a 2nd date, tho during the date my nerves got to me and my attitude was the opposite of what you just explained in this lesson. I basically did everything in the “7 Deadly Conversation mistakes” video. i called..no answer, and we haven’t spoken since. Now that i have the material is it still possible to somehow get another shot with her so i can redeem myself or are my chances with her done? If it is possible will there be an upcoming lesson for this ? ( sorry for the long comment)
Its hard to tell from what you wrote here if you were being playful or not. If you were saying these things in a fun playful way that would be OK.. but if not, it could have been interrupted wrong.
Hey Bob
I am going according to what you have told, there was this girl, on facebook, she said girls don’t get attracted to boys and all that stuff basically she haven’t been touched by anyone.
and what i did is kinda got honest and said, this is wrong and boring,
u need to get somelife.
and i told her its just boring to be having like the way you are living ur life, and even told her she is missing her sex drive.
for what she like wat ????
she said bye
and said will talk to you Later.
Is that a correct response or I am going down the wrong way.
Hi Rio.
love ur content! it’s practically changing my life in a lot of ways and i mean A LOT! what i picked up most of the time is a “mind set change” from a person who’s idea of ”relationships” are all up to the women – WRONG! now you’ve totally flipped the script on the reality of dating for me.
Only one of my flaws is, I lack the creativity(Like in conversations, being playful, etc.) I do not know if I’ve actually understood this completely or I’ve only acknowledge it.
are there any solutions or mindsets that u would suggest?
Respectfully – Ben.
thnx man,yours is a great job.there are those of us who realy don have those killing smiles and still those of us who are in our teens and from upcountries,how do you behave when with a girl during a date
Hello Bobby. So when you take the control and tell her to come. What if she cant that day? And if you ask her again your going to look desperat, right?
So how do you do when she says she is busy that day?
When do you ask her again?
Thanks
Hey Bobby,
Great job and awesome work. I can see now what mistakes i have been making all this time and i have followed a few of your techniques in person as well as on facebook and Bobby my man it is ON!
Just one question here though, what if you ask her on a date to like that Jazz band but what if she says she doesnt like Jazz….then how do reply back??
Eagerly waiting for your reply
Hey Bobby, those pages you have been sending me are ultimately helpful! But I have a small problem, there is girl I like and I started using what I have learned on her as a test for what I have learned, everything was alright, but I found out the girl is very strange, she is insecure, shy, and has low selfesteem. I really love her and she likes me, but she “flees away” from me because she thinks that she will “fail” with me and we will end up breaking up because of her fault, thats what she thinks, and well I really dont know what to do :/
YES!!! Love it, ah ha moment here Bobby, cheers pal
hw to make her rply back. . .she is nt rplyn . . .
yea, just say something “like, nah just been busy”
you dont want her to think you’re purposely ignoring her. you want her to think you have so much going on in your life
that you’re needy for her attention
Bobby,
So I’ve been using ur tactics on a few girls, and today, after responding late to oneof her texts, she said “hey 🙂 u ignoring me? :(“. Is this what I want her to think, and how do I respond?
forgot about that scene.. great movie!
Sounds like point 2 (“You always call the shots.”) of Mike Damone’s 5-point plan from the movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”.
http://www.netwalk.com/~truegger/ftrh/five-point.html
Well done bobby i know about this stuff myself but i sometimes change my ways. I kinda need a medicine for this. Keep up the good work ryo.
Thanks for the feedback man…
Yep. Bobby’s “evil scheme” for getting out of the friend zone is coming up soon…. within a couple days.
Yo Bobby! Thats so true! Been there done that! Though it might work thats usually with a girl whos very needy herself and thats not good either for the long term.
From my own experience I can tell you when Ive asked some one who friend zoned me always asking her her choices the moment I ignored her once in a while she came back to me saying I texted you why didnt you respond!
Also when stating a place for the date its always better to say I know this great place come along rather than would you like to? Mind you this is a very strong willed independent woman Im talking about. But when I took the lead she responded better. And the best thing is to have a backup. So when she did not come I still went to the same place with some friends so it did not look like my plan was centered around her. IVE GOT MY OWN LIFE TOO should be the attitude! We all have it but we give it away when we get stuck with oneitis.
In an earlier post you mentioned about 2 getting out of the friendzone lessons? Still havent seen them. When you giving us those.
Other than that great job man! I think you are doing a great service to tons of nice guys who just lose it cos they are nice. Love your work! The best part is its not really manipulative like the PUA manuals.
Its just telling you to be A MAN!
This is awesome!
That’s a real wake-up call. I think most guys do most of the things you say to steer clear of…I know I do.