How to Approach a Girl
By: Bobby Rio
In this article I’m going to explain exactly how to approach a girl, what to say to her, and how to keep the conversation going. This way, you’ll be able to make a good impression, get her phone number, a date, and get her back to your bedroom.
I promise you this, approaching girls is not nearly as hard as it seems when you’re able to calm your nervousness, and have a good game play on what to say to a girl.
How to Calm Approach Anxiety
Most guys tend to feel a bit of “anxiety” when they approach a girl. Most of this either comes from lack of experience talking to a girl, or it comes from fear of running out of things to say.
Luckily both of these can be “cured” pretty easily by following a few simple tips.
1. Make it easy on yourself. If you’re inexperienced approaching women, then start with what I refer to as “Bunny Slopes.” This means practice getting over your anxiety and learning how to approach a girl in easy environments like classes, parties, or sports events.
The hardest places to learn how to talk to girls are bars, clubs, gyms, coffee shops, or walking down the street… yet, that is where most guys go to try to get over their anxiety.
2. Chunk it Down. I used to have a big fear of starting a conversation with a girl until I learned this very simple process of chunking it down.
3. Rejection = Success. This is probably the hardest thing for guys to understand when learning to approach girls. And this is that the more rejected you get, the more successful you will become.
The guys I know who have dated and slept with the most amount of women are the guys who have gotten rejected the most. This is because the more you are out there trying, the more confident you will become, and the more likely you will be talk to a girl that you “click” with.
You don’t get dates sitting at home thinking about it. And you never regret the approaches you make… you only regret the approaches you don’t make.
Okay. So you’ve gotten over you fear of walking up to a girl… but now you just don’t know what to say or how to walk up to her.
Well, the first thing you want to keep in mind is that there are a few big mistakes that most guys make when they start a conversation with a girl.
Let’s review some of these mistakes.
1. Invading her personal space. When you walk over to start your conversation with her, don’t make her feel threatened by getting too close to her, or acting as if she is going to be stuck talking to you for hours.
Instead, simply start the conversation casually and relaxed, so that she lets her guard down. The best way to approach a girl is to approach at an angle, slowly turn to look at her, and sort address her over her shoulder.
2. Appearing too nervous or insecure. Girls can very easily pick up on your level of nervousness talking to them. And it is very unattractive to a girl when a guy is scared to talk to her.
Always remember that you’re the man. You are completely in control. And that is the way she likes it. She wants you to lead the conversation. She wants you to appear completely confident, secure, and comfortable around her.
3. Complimenting her too much. When you approach a girl avoid excessively complimenting her. In fact, avoid complimenting her at all.
When you tell a pretty girl how beautiful she is you’re just acting like the same as every other guy out there. At you’ll never be able to differentiate yourself from other guys.
If you feel the need to compliment a girl, instead compliment her on her “energy” or her “style” or something that is unique and attractive about her other than her looks.
“You have a really interesting sense of style. I like it”
“You have a great energy. I like it. It’s warm and friendly.”
The “normal” way most guy’s approach a girl is to walk up to her, nervously compliment her, and then ask her for her number.
This hardly ever works.
Here is a better way to approach a girl. This is the method made famous by the famous book “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.”
An “indirect/opinion opener” is a way of starting a conversation with a girl that gives her very little sign that you are hitting on her.
A basic example of this is “Do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?”
Guys like to do it this way because it allows you to go in “under the radar.” The reasoning behind this is that by going in “under the radar” the girl will not quickly reject you.
And the fact is, the longer you can get a girl talking to you. The better your chance of creating attraction.
The best “opinion” openers begin the conversation with “girl friendly” conversation “bait”.
By approaching a girl with a female friendly topic such as recent drama, things you’d hear on Access Hollywood or relationships, the girl is more likely to respond in a positive way.
My favorite indirect opener is: “Do drunk ‘I love you’s count’?”
This opener works so good because it is a subject that girls LOVE talking about. So the second you ask them about it, they forget that you’re “picking them up”
Guys who fear rejection, or have difficulty knowing what to say, really like this sort of way to begin a conversation with a girl.
More examples of Things to say to approach a girl:
1.” Is kissing cheating?”
2.”Do you think Charlie Sheen is sexy?”
3.”Is it wrong if a guy is still friends with his ex-girlfriend after he has started dating someone new.”
These sort of questions are crack for a girl. They are based on this idea of “pickup artist openers.” You can get some more of these pua openers here.
The one thing I want to leave you with is: No matter how intimidated you are by the thought of approaching a girl.
Once you get our there a few times, and get a few approaches under your belt, actually enjoy talking to girls and will begin to see how easy it is to create attraction. Isn’t it about time you learn how to to approach a girl?