» Must-Read: Worst Breakfast Foods

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Rick has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN the Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, Flak Magazine and The Morning News. The rest can be found here. He lives in Los Angeles, is a White Sox fan, and maintains a personal blog.

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Eat healthier, hot woman!

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. (But just who are “they” anyhow?) It’s the meal that kick-starts your day, gets you off to a rock and/or rolling start, gives you the boost you need in order to slog through another day at the office. As such, a lot of people tend to shovel whatever-the-fuck they want into their mouths during breakfast, seeing as they can justify it because they’re going to burn it all off by the end of the day anyway? (Our breakfast ritual, on the other hand, is simply cup after cup of coffee until our bodies revolt and force us to stick something in our stomach at 2 or 3 every afternoon.)

AskMen.com has taken to task this idea of “any breakfast is a good one” and created a list of the worst possible breakfast foods.  Most of them are obvious (if you picked up a muffin and are somehow deluded into thinking it’s a “healthy” option, than you, sir or madam, are fucking stupid) but here’s one that caught us offguard:

Bagels and cream cheese

There’s no getting away from the fact that a bagel is a glorious thing, but for breakfast foods, you could do a lot better. A bagel alone isn’t a terrible choice (not compared to, say, the fry-up), but it does often contain sugar and is a fast-digesting carb that will cause your insulin to spike — and then crash. Once you load it up with fatty cream cheese, you up the saturated fat levels and the calorie count to get somewhere into the realms of the two-doughnut mark. And you wouldn’t start your day off with two doughnuts. Choose wheat bagels — and double check they are whole wheat. The mixed-grain ones won’t cut it. Check the label to make sure they are made with whole grains (and stick with a low-fat topping). Instead of cream cheese, opt a nut butter that is made from nuts only, as this will boost your energy levels.

In any case, the whole thing is worth a read. Over a nice egg, sausage and triple cheese omelet. See what we did there?!?!

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