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MISTAKE #6: NOT LASTING 30-45 MINUTES IN BED
Here’s another beef I have with most “pop culture” sex books: they tell you “women don’t care how long you last in bed, and there isn’t really much you can do about it anyways. As long as you’re a nice guy, and you respect her wishes in bed, that’s all she really wants.” This type of advice is very politically correct, and will never offend anyone. It sounds very good in a sex book…but the problem is that in the real world it is pure, unadulterated BULLSHIT.
So here’s a little dose of reality:
Women DO want a guy who respects them OUTSIDE the bedroom, and they do want a guy who knows how to give them orgasms with foreplay. In fact, as I said before, it’s best to give her the first orgasm through foreplay.
BUT – even if you’re the “perfect boyfriend” outside the bedroom and you know every foreplay technique in the book, it’ll still count for NOTHING if you can only last a few minutes during intercourse. Women will never think of you as a good lover, and they will probably LAUGH at you behind your back for being a “two-pump chump.” This is because if you can’t last at least 20 minutes in bed (and preferably 30-45), then she’s pretty much guaranteed to never have an orgasm during intercourse. And the orgasms that she has during intercourse are the most powerful kind.
And contrary to popular belief, there are MANY things that you can do in bed to naturally improve your stamina. And when used correctly, these techniques actually INCREASE the pleasure you feel from sex, and don’t require you to distract yourself or reduce your own arousal in order to last longer.
You need to learn how to consistently last at least 20 minutes (and preferably 30-45 minutes) every time you have sex. Otherwise, she’ll always be wishing you could be more like the “bad boy” with great stamina who could make her cum over and over again on his cock.
MISTAKE #7: BEING SILENT AND NON-EXPRESSIVE IN BED
Another common sexual complaint women have is that most men are way to QUIET in bed. They don’t say anything during sex that could turn her on, and they’re even afraid to make NOISES that show how much they’re enjoying sex. This really turns women off. And when you think about it, it’s pretty obvious why.
I mean, what would you prefer: A woman who just laid there during sex as silent and still as a corpse, or a woman who lost herself in the throes of orgasmic passion, and was moaning and talking dirty into your ear the whole time? It’s pretty obvious when you put it that way, yet most men STILL act like silent, expressionless robots during sex.
If you’re serious about becoming good in bed, you need to learn how to turn a woman on with your words. You need to learn how to turn her on with “dirty talk,” AND with “romantic” talk that arouses her emotions. If you can’t do this, sex with you will seem mediocre, passionless, and boring.
MISTAKE #8: THINKING YOU NEED A BIG “TOOL” TO GIVE WOMEN ORGASMS
It’s very common for men to equate sexual prowess with genital size. Men commonly think that a bigger “tool” will “hit spots” that a smaller one won’t, and will give women more orgasms. But if you actually ask women about this, you’ll find that this is completely untrue.
If you look at women’s preferences in sex toys, you’ll find that that vast majority of all dildos sold are between 4-6 inches long (the size of an average male penis). This is because this is the size that’s PHYSICALLY ideal to give her pleasure, since most of the nerve endings in her vagina are in the first few inches.
HOWEVER – all things being equal, a woman WILL prefer a man who’s larger. But it’s not because he “hits spots” that a smaller guy doesn’t. It’s because a man with larger “equipment” seems more like the dominant alpha male she fantasizes about. In other words, women prefer larger “equipment” because they find it PSYCHOLOGICALLY exciting, not because it’s physically better to give them orgasms. This might still sound depressing if you’re on the smaller side, but it’s actually GREAT NEWS. Here’s why:
Women prefer “bigger” guys because a larger penis seems more psychologically DOMINANT. But your size is really a VERY small part of how dominant you are overall in bed – like 2-3% at most. It’s MUCH more important to her that you have the SEXUAL SKILLS to turn her on with masculine dominance in the bedroom. And if you have these sexual skills, you’ll seem like the dominant alpha male she fantasizes about even if you’re on the smaller side.
In other words, your SKILLS will greatly overshadow your SIZE in importance.
This is how I give women orgasms despite being barely five inches hard, and how many of my students who are on the “smaller” side do as well. And if you’re not exactly hung like an elephant yourself, it’s very important that you learn sexual skills to turn her on with masculine dominance. Otherwise, she might lose interest in you and start fantasizing about the “real man” who can truly rock her world.
Dan, years ago I would only last a minute or two before I ejaculated and kind of felt like a loser in the bedroom. I started taking an anti-depressant years later for a depression disorder, but much to my surprise I almost suddenly was able to last for 45 – 60 minutes, and sometimes couldn’t ejaculate at all, this is no joke. Women definitely treat me different now that I have this “gift” and I am feeling like the “man”, and my ego has grown probably bigger than it should be. Most women do talk about this with their girlfriends. Sorry to hear about the incident with your dream girl, it has happened to all of us, especially when alcohol is involved.