About the Author
This is the fourth lesson in our series 31 Days to Better Game. This lesson is sort of a prelude to everything you will be learning during the remainder of the series.
Day 4
Always be Advertising by Bobby Rio
In a common sale’s office 10% of the salesman make 90% of the money. Is it because they are that much better salesman? No. It’s because a successful salesman is constantly marketing himself while the other 90% do their 9-5 in the office and call it a day.
The biggest mistake most guys tend to make while trying to improve their game is they think that it only counts when they are at a bar or club. They read books, study lines, learn to “be alpha” but they sit in their house all week waiting for the weekend to practice game.
I spent this weekend with AFC Adam Lyons from Pua Training in New York. If I had to name the most inspiring thing I got out of the weekend it was Adam’s ability to always “be on.” Adam made the comment several times that he “is game.” And he’s right.
No matter who he was talking to he was projecting the same charismatic personality. He didn’t wait until heading to the clubs at night to go into game mode. He lived, breathed, and slept game.
Does that mean all you should care about is game? Hell no. It just means that everything you learn needs to be implemented at all times.
Always dress to impress. Always be chatting up strangers. Always be opening sets. Always strive to make your conversations memorable. Always be presenting your best self.
A lot guys wonder how come some nights it is so hard to get “in state.” It is so hard for them because all week they’ve created a pattern of bad posture, poor tonality, boring conversation, approach anxiety, and AFC tendencies…. then they expect to miraculously be the life of the party come Saturday night.
Every lesson that you learn throughout these 31 days needs to become a new habit in your life. If you’ve just read an article about flirting; start flirting immediately. I don’t care if you have to flirt with your sixty year old neighbor…. you need to always be reinforcing these skills.
Once you get in the habit of always reinforcing the skills you’ve been learning, you will find that it becomes a lot easier to get “in state” since you will be spending most of your time in the right frame of mind.
More importantly though, is that you will find, like the most successful salesman, that the best leads come when you least expect it. If you’re always “on” you’ll find that you’ll naturally be attracting more women into your life. Your co-workers who used to ignore you will be asking you to come hang out with them. The counter girl at your local bank will be dropping you IOIs.
Always leave the house expecting to meet the girl of your dreams. Because you just don’t know when you will bump into her.
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June 16, 2008
This is so true…I’m going have to steal that quote “always be presenting your best self”…sorry bobby, lol.
but seriously, i really like this quote because many times we allow life to take us down and stop us, but like the quote, we have to always have in mind that we are great and we should expect good things. Is this easy? Hell no, but like you said in the Day 1, Bobby, we have to wake up, look at ourselves in the mirror and say “women WANT to be with ME” “I expect great things to happen to ME”. the more we do it, the more it becomes true…because the mental image of ourselves has improved and we project this to the outside world.
-KillSwitch
June 17, 2008
AFC Adam is awesome! I met him at the summit! Almost took a mini-bootcamp with him too.
The guy has seriously influenced my game.
“I am game”
I will take that wit me everywhere I go.
-Seraf
June 17, 2008
Seraf
We did a nice long interview with him that we’ll be releasing soon.. he is the real deal!
June 18, 2008
Right now, this is my biggest weakness/sticking point. I am lucky that I am able to reasonably reliably ’switch on’ state - but to really hit the sweet spot I seem to need to ‘prepare’ by reading blogs and WIKIs and prepare a basic game-plan and have some lines/routines in mind before I go out.
I’d really like to actually change my core personality more to be ‘in state’ more of the time.
I *have* improved in that regard (especially body language, appearance, and a more Alpha attitude), but its slow progress and occassionally I feel I’ve plateued or gone backwards. Hard to maintain focus on this aspect when using the ‘training wheels’ of routines and lines seems to provide such a more immediate pay-off. But I guess they’re often just a ‘quick fix’ of validation.
I think it does boild down to faith in yourself to not give up, practice, and to some extent the lifestyle you are able to consistently live, to achieve the consistency about which this article talks - which is the hardest thing sometimes.
July 5, 2008
The “always being on” part of AFC Adam is really true! I’ve seen him give a talk in LA after he literally just stepped off the plane. Imagine this: he’s on a 12-hour flight from London to LA, and soon as he arrives, he’s being picked up at the airport and driven to Santa Monica to give a talk.
Most people, me included, would probably want to hit the hotel ASAP and take a nap and not talk to anyone for the next few hours, after having play nice and chat with your 60 year old seat neighbour and tolerating the kids playing on the seat behind you and always kicking your seat.
But not AFC Adam. The minute he walked into the room, he started sharing some crazy anecdotes of how he gamed a bunch of models going out for a drink after their photoshoot and the like, just as if he was talking to his best buddy in a bar.
This guy is seriously amazing, but I don’t think that everyone could train themselves to be like that. It’s inspiring, yes, but at least *I* tend to get exhausted from being social *all the time*, and then I just need some time alone to think and reflect.
I did try this approach though and I found that it really helps a lot. I used to have to read a bunch of PUA blogs and really amazing FRs before I go out in order to feel in state. But I found that I get in state much much faster if I just try to be social with everybody when I go out. The people waiting in line, the bouncers, the cashier, the bar girl (ok, oftentimes it’s way to loud and she’s too busy to talk). But you get the deal. This also helped to get over a lot of my AA, since if you’re already talking to everyone else in the club, then talking to the hot girls is just a small step, whereas otherwise, it’s a huge one.
The only problem, as I’ve mentioned, is that after doing this for a night, I tend to feel very exhausted and tired of talking to people, and I really need a break to relax and not talk to ANYONE for a while. Did anyone every experience that? Any ideas on how to deal with this?