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What to Talk About With Girls

By on March 9, 2011

Conversation Topics

I used to be so clueless as to what to talk to girls about that I actually begged one of my friends to wear a “wire” so I could listen in.

My friend Jake, had a natural ability to talk to a girl for hours without running out of things to say or losing her interest. He never agreed to wear the “wire,” but I did get him to share some of his favorite conversation techniques with me back then.  Many of which I still use to this day.

I figured I’d share some them with you.

1.  Grudges or Common Enemies

”I try to get on the same team as her,” Jake told me.  “And the easiest way to do that is to find a common enemy that we could both talk shit about.”

Man talking to woman

He explained that sometimes the common enemy would be someone they both went to school with, and he’d make her laugh by making fun of the person in an amusing way. Or sometimes the common enemy would be their mutual hatred of a type of music, the DMV, a certain holiday, or anything they could mutual vent about.

He told me that one of his favorite questions to ask a girl is “Who is your mortal enemy? Every girl has that one girl she competes against. Who is yours?”

I’ve found that to be a great question because once the girl starts telling you about her “mortal enemy” it’s usually a pretty humorous story. And it’s also pretty easy to tease her about it.

Now you want to stay on the “fun” side when talking about grudges or enemies and not move over into getting too negative or spiteful.

Make it a fun topic.

2. Top 10 Lists

“Everyone loves making top 10 lists,” Jake once told me. And he’s right. People love making them, and they love listening to them.

Girls love talking about themselves.

And the next best thing to talking about yourself is giving your opinion on things.

Whether it’s her “top 10 celebrity crushes” or her “top 10 albums” or her “top 10 dream vacations” or her “top 10 favorite places to have sex,” you’ve just introduced a fun topic that will keep the conversation rolling a long for a bit.

And once again, more than likely, some of her answers are sure to give you material to tease her on. And it can also give you something to playfully argue about.

3. Inventing a “Mission”

This is one of my favorite things that Jake taught me.

“Try to find a mission that the two of you can jokingly work on together.”

He would try to find something that he and the girl both agreed on, and then he would turn it into some kind of mission.

“Let’s make it our mission to stop guys from ‘grunting’ at the gym.”
“Let’s make it our mission to stop senile old people from being allowed to drive.”
“Let’s make it our mission to eliminate the Justin Bieber haircut from existence.”

The whole point would be to create this “mission” so that it could be a common conversation topic that they could go back to when the conversation got stale.

The best missions are humorous ones that allow you to role play with some imaginary scenarios. Remember, this isn’t a mission you’re actually going to do together, just something that you can riff on for a bit.

What you’re really doing with each of these topics is fishing for things to tease her about and flirt with her. You’re trying to “bait” her into saying or doing something that allows you take the focus of the conversation onto her.

So those are three conversation threads I learned from my friend Jake many years ago.  I still use these threads often, and they never fail to give me material to tease a woman on.

== > For more conversation tips and tactics check out Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy

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About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. You'll know more about me on . I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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3 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    March 12, 2011 at 6:12 am

    Any tips for picking up smart chicks? These topics sound like a beacon for bimbos, awsome for a 1nighter, but not if you want 1 with staying power.

  2. Belinda

    August 11, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    I am a new author, Please read my book, ‘My Little Secrets’ author Belinda Davis, My book is about the south and I know it will make a great movie! Please let me know what you think about it! My E- mail is b.davis21@ hotmail.com. Thank you so much for your time Belinda1

  3. Peter

    July 1, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Super information! At a date I always get a black-out after sometime. I use the app “What to Talk About” for android, so I have always some subject, story or question ready to put up the fire in the convo.

    Check it out:
    https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.pitbull_development.what_to_talk_about

    Cheers,

    Peter

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