Mystery’s Neg Theory
Here is a classic Mystery post on negs. This is the theory of negging women and why it works. It is a must read for any aspiring PUA. If you don’t understand the principle behind negging I highly recommend picking up the classic book Magic Bullets.
A hot girl is there, surrounded by her friends. She has put on this bitch act. But is she really a bitch? Unlikely. All my girlfriends were wonderful human beings. Beautiful people have it easier because they are beautiful and often times have better upbringings because of it.
But she needs to have a standard when all these loser guys approach her. So her values are very honed and understood.
When a man walks up and says, “Can I buy you a drink?” this will annoy her, she gets this constantly and is desensitized to it. You are the eighth guy today!
So she is very good at brushing all these guys off. She has to be… she isn’t going to sleep with all of them! So she may say no, act annoyed, or use some other shielding mechanism, and then the poor guy thinks she’s a bitch and he walks off angry and feeling like a failure. And that seems to work. Sometimes when the girl is particularly feeling powerful (like when she’s in a club) she will accept the beer and then flake the guy off. Hey if the guy is stupid enough to buy her one, she may as well take it.
When she accepts a beer from you, the girl is really saying, “I don’t know you and I don’t care about you. You are just another one of those typical guys and since I don’t respect you, I’ll take the beer from you before I snubb you.”
Since hot girls are so good at snubbing your approach, snubbing them is important. You cannot insult them, because they are accustomed to all the hurt guys insulting them (you are nothing but a bitch!) so this rolls off their backs like water off a mustrats ass.
How do you snub them without insulting them? Well, lets say she has long nails that are most likely fake. Now why do women dress so fine if they don’t want the attention? Sometimes they love the feeling of control. They are to be the leader of their social circle and get all of the attention. The guys come and buy them drinks and she gets a kick out of knocking the guys down. It’s all in a days play. So, she is wearing fake nails to look even better! Most guys will say, “Wow you are so beautiful!” Boring, typical and in her mind by now, true (after years of this)
Imagine now, a guy comes along and says, “Nice nails. Are they real?” She will have to concede, “No acrylic.” And he says (like he didn’t know it was a put down), “Oh. (pause) well I guess they still look good.” Then he turns his back to her.
What does this do to her? Well, he didn’t treat her like shit and insult her. Instead, he complimented her, but the result was to target her insecurity. She thinks, “I’m hot I’m beautiful”- (especially in her current emotional state of control) “but I didn’t win this guy over. I’m so good at this… I’ll just fix that little smear on my image that he has of me.”
Then you continue to show disinterest in her looks as you give her a neatral topic like the Elvis bit. During this time, her intention is to get you to become like all the other guys so she can feel in control again and snub you. Then you give her another NEG like this: “Is that a hair piece? Well, it’s neat…what do you call this hair style? The waffle?” Smile and look at her to show you are sincerely being funny and not insulting. You are pleasant but disinterested in her beauty. This will intrigue her because she knows guys. And this isn’t normal. You must have really high standards, and be used to girls, or be married or something.
These questions make her curious. So this keeps happening and is known as flirting. She gives you little negs and these tests are qualifiers. You pass them by negging her back. After all, you aren’t like the others showing interest. But… to get control again, she says “Will you buy me a drink? ” Notice how she is trying to get you now! But she only wants to sucker you in enough so she can snub you. That is all she is about-this strategy is all she knows and it’s not working on you so she is trying to do damage control on the situation. But at the same time she doesn’t quite understand why you don’t think she’s all that. After all, her nails are fake.
You say, “Ah, that’s so funny…your nose wiggles when you speak…” (pointing and being cute) “look there it goes again… its so…quaint…hehehe look” She’ll say “Ah stoppp!: blush. Now she is self-conscious and this is where you want her. You have, with three negs, successfully created interest and removed her from her pedestal. You were humorous, you had a smile, you dress well, you are confident and everything she wants in a man.
You didn’t take her shit. Oh..and when she asked you for a beer, you said, “No. I don’t buy girls drinks. But you can buy me one.” You are qualifying her now. If she buys you a beer, this is symbolic of her respect for you.
If not, you say, “Pleasure meeting you” (not sarcastically) and turn your back to her again. Don’t walk away, just turn your back. You are negging her again just when she thought she was negging you. You are teasing eachother. It’s flirting- this is text book psychology.
A neg is a qualifier. The girl is failing to meet your high expectations. It’s not an insult, just a judgment call on your part. You’re not even trying to make her feel bad. (so it seems) Its the same as if you pulled out a tissue and blew your nose. There is nothing insulting about blowing your nose. You haven’t rejected her. But at the same time, she will sincerely
believe that you aren’t trying to impress her. This creates curiosity and makes you a challenge.
The better looking the girl, the more aggressive you must be with using negs. A 10 can three negs up front, while an 8 gets only one or two over a longer time. You can go overboard if she thinks you are better than her (which happens more often than you think) You can drop the self esteem right from under, just like most 10s do to guys, and this isn’t good. You have to get as close to the breaking point as you can without crossing the line. Once you have gotten right there, you can start appreciating things about her (not her looks.) There is mutual respect now-something most guys never get from the girl.
This is how you remove a girl from her protection shield. Three negs ought to do it within two of three minutes of neautral chat. Once it is removed, you can, from a place of mutual respect, seduce her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.