Don’t Spend TIme on IM WIth GIrls

Below is an article Dave M sent out about internet
Dave is a great source of material for those
looking to master the online dating scene.

One of the 5C’s I talk about is being Desirable.
If you’re not desirable then no woman will want

Simple concept.

Well being on Instant Messenger, chatting with a
woman for hours and hours on end is NOT something
that a desirable guy would normally do.

After all if you’re desirable then you probably
have other women to see (or so she’ll think) and
you probably have a lot better things to do than
spend hours chatting with some random chick

The other problem is this…

The more available you are, the less of a mystery
you are. Remember my formula for seduction:

Mystery = Intrigue = Interest

so more mystery is a good thing. It makes the
woman wonder… and as she wonders, she becomes
more intrigued with you or about you… that
intrigue creates more interest.

The less of a mystery you are, the less results
you’re going to get. After all, you are a
desirable guy, you’ve got girls interested in you
and you don’t have the time to sit ther and tell
each girl EVERYTHING about you on day one.

So you give her a bit here, and a little bit

As I learned from David D. ‘Give her the gift of
missing you.’

This saying is SO true. Take this to heart. It

See if you’re on IM with a woman, not only do you
lower your value to her, because she sees you’ve
got nothing better to do than to chat her up for


It also lets her see exactly when you’re home, and
when you’re not. She knows where you are ALL the

I mean seriously. How many times have you asked a
girl for her IM INSTEAD of her number? If you’re
like me, that would be never.

It’s the women who always ask for your IM because
they’re hesitant to talk on the phone.

It’s a test. If you give in and give her your IM
screen name, you’ve just failed. Game over.

She’ll know you’re a wuss and she can own you.
She’ll know you’re WAY too available and this is
something you want to avoid at ALL costs.

If she emails you back asking for your IM screen
name, do this:


Make believe she never asked for it. Remember,
your frame is what matters, not what she thinks or
wants. You don’t even know this girl, so why do
what she wants?

I know some guys want ‘how-to’ type stuff, so…


This is pretty much what I use word for word. Make
sure you take the time to customize it to the way
YOU talk. Using YOUR own words.

So you basically ignore her request and respond

Hey (her name),

Part 1: I’m too busy to IM…

Part 2: lets talk on the phone…

Part 3: what’s your number….

Take these 3 steps and create an email based on

Remember this…

Some women will choose to respond and some
won’t. This is the way of life, but as long as you
continually focus on YOUR goals and improve yourself,
more women will choose to join you in your ‘adventures’.

For more great advice on internet dating click here
to check out Dave’s great product called INSIDER

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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