Girls Love Bad Boys
You know the type — the swaggering, cocky, macho jerk who treats women like they’re replaceable, while they’re waiting in line to climb into his bed. Men hate these guys, yet women love them.
Ask any single woman on the street what she’s looking for in a man and she’ll tell you that she wants a nice guy with a sense of humor who will treat her well. But then she’ll turn around and fall all over herself trying to get to a Bad Boy who will use and abuse her.
What’s going on here?
Granted, what women say and what they actually do are generally miles apart, but even the usual female self-deceit doesn’t seem to cover this one. So let’s look first at some of the traits of the typical Bad Boy and see what we can learn from him.
– is cocky, arrogant
– always puts himself first
– is inattentive to a woman’s needs
– does what he wants when he wants to do it, regardless of what anyone else thinks
– acts like a loose cannon
– struts his masculine sexuality
– isn’t even remotely a “nice” guy
– treats women badly
– often uses women for sex
All negative character traits, to say the least. Yet women flock to these creeps in droves. Why? No sane woman would openly choose to be abused, so there must be some other factors operational here. To find the answer, we must examine the positive side of the Bad Boy traits to see what women are really attracted to.
A Bad Boy exudes untamed masculinity, independence and confidence. To women, these traits — especially confidence — are an aphrodisiac. The problem is, in the hands of the Bad Boy, confidence becomes selfish arrogance. But women are responding to guys like this on a purely elemental, emotional level.
Just as men are turned on by a woman’s femininity, so too do women respond to overt male masculinity — and the Bad Boy has it in buckets. What’s going on here is that she’s having a gut reaction to his confidence and male strength, and is blind to anything else.
So the trick is to learn to take the Bad Boy’s negative traits and spin them in a positive direction to make them work for you — in other words, to become a Bad Boy without really being “bad.” This way, you can still maintain your gentleman status without turning into an abusive jerk.
Here are a few things you can do:
1. ?Dial up the independence
Act as if you couldn’t possibly care less about getting women. Never change who you are to please a woman or in the hope that you’ll get her into bed. Get involved in your own life and your own interests. Make plenty of time for male stuff. Your attitude should be: “This is who I am — if you like it, fine; if you don’t, leave.”
2. ?Don’t show emotions
Be indifferent and don’t show you care. You should have a poker face at all times. Remain mysterious and don’t let women know what you’re thinking. Keep them guessing.
Furthermore, ration your words and make sure everything you say has a purpose. Don’t volunteer information. Simply answer a question if asked.
3. ?Put the kibosh on crap
Refuse to tolerate any female BS. When she tries to test you, don’t give in — tell her to grow up. Don’t be afraid to say “no.” Stand your ground, or simply walk away from a situation.
Get her off the pedestal. Run the relationship by your rules, not hers. If you don’t agree with her, say so — don’t be a doormat in the hope of getting laid. And if she doesn’t like it, show her the door.
4. ?Light your fire
Bad Boys are all about sexual confidence, and women appreciate confident lovers. So don’t be afraid to let your natural masculine sexuality shine. This doesn’t mean you should go around leering at female chests all day, but you should be comfortable and confident about letting a woman know you’re attracted to her without becoming a pawing jerk. And when you do step up to the plate, make sure you know what you’re doing in the bedroom.
5. ?Make yourself scarce
For women, guys who are too available are boring. Bad Boys are selfishly independent — they aren’t desperately hanging around women, hoping to get tossed a few scraps of attention.
Women always want what they can’t have, so make yourself busy and scarce. Be a mystery man. Be unpredictable. Be a challenge — let her do some work to get you.
6. Turn on the confidence
Bad Boys always assume that women want them — insecurity has no place in their personal vocabularies. This is the exact opposite of the usual male desperation. So your attitude should be that you’re the catch, not that women are doing you a favor by talking to you.
You can’t afford to be too nice — catering to women, agreeing with every word they utter, paying for female attention (all things Bad Boys don’t do) — because women see this as “weak” and wimpy.
Be decisive and don’t hesitate when talking. Don’t second-guess yourself after you’ve made a decision. Voice your opinion and don’t worry about offending others.
Bad Boys may be jerks, but they have a lot to teach the average guy about attracting women. By observing a few of these typical Bad Boy traits in action, you can learn to use them to your advantage without giving up your nice status.
Even if you don’t look like Brad Pitt, you can still attract lots of women simply by oozing male confidence.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.