What Makes You Attractive

What Makes a Man Attractive

Here’s an article from Derek Vitalio where he talks about what make’s a guy appear attractive to a woman.

So many guys think you can improve your sexual quality by learning all sorts of special techniques. Sure, those are nice ? but theyre closer to window dressing than the heart of the matter. What you REALLY need to do is engage her brain, activate her fantasies ? and become that which TRULY turns her on.

You’ll like this exercise

I want you to close your eyes. I want you to close your eyes and continue reading through squinty eyelids that you shut whenever you get enough info to run with it.

Now, I want you to think of the HOTTEST image you can.

It can be something youve done, something youve seen done, or just something youve dreamt of doing.

Paint the full picture. Really let yourself go, get randy, get to the point where its tough to just sit there without doing something ABOUT this amazing fantasy.

Once youve gotten the picture firmly in your head and youve, uh, concluded it, take a few moments to reflect.

What was it about the fantasy that turned you on?

Its not the size of the wave, OR the motion of the ocean?

Now I dont claim to have ANY idea what you personally find exciting, but Im prepared to make a few generalities that will almost CERTAINLY apply.

It might have been location-specific, or person-specific, or attitude-specific.

But it wasnt technique-specific.

What I mean by this is, you might have been on a secluded beach with three other ladies lapping at you ? but you werent concerned with the exact motion of the flicks of their tongues (even if you know it through vivid imagination).

If you were making out, it might have been the EXCITEMENT of doing it in a hotel pool with lots of balconies around ? but not the pattern of suction she applied to your lips.

Or if you were eating sushi off some naked Asian beauty, it was the fact that you were EATING SUSHI OFF SOME NAKED ASIAN BEAUTY, and didnt have much to do with how you held the chopsticks.

Where are we going here?

Technique isnt important. Ok, its important ? but only in a secondary kind of way.

Youve been duped too long!

Wait, you think, What about Susie Q. who did this thing it drove me wild, that was technique!

Yeah, that can happen. But only when you already LIKE someone, for the most part. Susie Q. already got you excited ? so you were LOOKING for something to turn you wild. You were just helping her along.

Now, there are rare instances of a woman who has such AMAZING technique that shell keep her men around just for that.

But trust me, those are EXTREMELY rare instances, both because of the skill necessary and because, well, most men need something MORE than the pure physical pleasure of pleasing touches.

Dont get me wrong, the pleasing touches are wonderful ? they just cant do the job alone.

Now, bearing in mind what it is that REALLY turns men on, remember this ? for women, its even MORE about the fantasy and LESS the physicality.

Up to ten times more, in some cases.

And what is it that most books or programs try to teach a man to help his sex life?

Yep, techniques.

Hey, it can be handy to know the 1 oclock hot spot or the Frisbee hold in the same way it can be handy to know where the salad fork goes.

These things can help make an event that much more special, but if you cant COOK, they dont mean much.

So, sexually, how do you COOK?

Simple. Youve got to plug into your ladys brain.

Engage her mind, find out and then ACT OUT her fantasies. Dont worry so much about stroke order until youve mastered the more ephemeral parts of sex.

And how do you do that?

If I had to sum it up in two words, Id say Inner Confidence.

You need to be so COMFORTABLE in your sexual skin that you RELAX her. So OPEN and at ease that you bypass her nerves and shyness (and most women ? even gregarious ones ? are shy when you get to sexual fantasies).

You need to make her feel ok being open and vulnerable with you. And you do that not through cooing and being a girlie-man ? but by being open and confident and completely natural about everything.

And then you need to LEAD her.

If her comfort and trust are what open the door, youve gotta take her hand and help her through it.

Think about it ? you can NEVER achieve this sort of openness and freedom with another spontaneously or just because you WANT to ? it MUST be actively brought out by your partner.

And then, once youve got access to her fantasies, start making them come TRUE. Trust me, if you truly get in her head, you can make a woman orgasm without even TOUCHING her.

And if youve got a lady having that much fun, shes going to INSIST on sharing the pleasure.

So now you know WHAT to do ? the question is HOW?

Wheres that recipe?

The answer is from WITHIN yourself. This is entirely an inside-to-outside enterprise.

To get at the BEST way to find your sexual confidence and fulfill your ladies fantasies, check out my program, Blissnosis.

In addition to helping you become the most confident kind of man, it covers literally HUNDREDS of other aspects of dating and romance. Best of all, its focused where most other books leave off ? how to fulfill and KEEP a good woman satisfied and begging for more once youve found her.

Of course it will ALSO help you with every step from meeting to bedding ? but nowhere else will you get truer advice on how to create and have a GREAT LASTING relationship ? that is, if you arent looking to Dear Abby clones for dating advice.

Check out Blissnosis and youll see exactly what I mean ? it will help you become a more desirable man in EVERY phase of the game.

Until Next Time,

Derek Vitalio

More articles on attraction:

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Why Women Love Bad Boys

15 Tips for Attracting Women


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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.