How You Open Girls

This is another installment of Jugglers online course from the Charismaarts site.

How to Open Girls by Juggler

How did your approach homework go? Some approaches probably went
well, while others might have been challenging. That is normal.
You will never be perfect. Much of the art of effectively
approaching women is letting go of the need to do it well. It’s
a kinda a Zen thing but perfection cannot be acheived on purpose.
That’s today’s lesson.

Most guys sweat too much over what to say to a woman. They
search for the perfect words. But thinking too much about the
content of your words just produces anxiety. That is a sure way
to become a guy who talks about approaching women but never does
it. Resign yourself to saying un-perfect things and just go talk
to women.

Women don’t hear your first few words anyway. They are too busy
trying to understand who you are and why you have chosen to talk
with them in particular. I asked a girlfriend once what the
first thing I said to her was. She thought for a moment then
replied, “Have you ever been to Paris?” That was not right. The
first things I said was in fact, “I am so hungry I could eat my
cat and your cat too.” Suave, huh?

When approaching a woman for the first time speak in small,
simple sentences. This will keep you from thinking too much and
stumbling over your words. And as we all know, there are no
magic words anyway.

However there can be magic in the way you use your words.

Concentrate on speaking nicely. Work on your tone of voice and
put some milk and sugar in it. Johnny Saviour and Kory, two of
Charisma Arts’s instructors, were recently teaching a workshop on
the campus of a university. Kory approached a girl to talk with
who was sitting on the lawn reading. He said, “Can I borrow some
of your grass?” as I sat down near her. This actually made no
sense. But she laughed and smiled and began talking with him
because he had infused his tone with sweetness.

Personally, I have said plenty of smart and clever things to
women that fell flat because my tone was too harsh or abrupt or
quiet or just not engaging. However I have said many stupid
things to women that sparked a great interaction just by having a
sweet and engaging tone.

Here are some of the things I have said to women which have
actually worked for me:

“I hate you.”

“Is this the train to Toledo?” On the TGV in France.

“May I help you?” At the museum, for no apparent reason.

“You may be my long lost soul mate or a cup of hot chocolate.”

“Is this seat taken by your seven foot, rugby-playing
boyfriend?”

“I have seriously gotta pee.”

I am not recommending you say anything as stupid as this dribble
that can come out of my mouth. But I am making the case for
concentrating on your tone foremost. Find the right tone and she
will be biased towards wanting to interact with you. Then the
content of your words can become more important.

All the best,
Wayne ‘Juggler’ Elis