Social Accountability vs. Social Anyonmity

An interesting post from Sebastian of Master the Vibe. This is a great article for breaking the barriers of meeting a girl in a bar- Bobby

Social Accountability vs. Social Anyonmity by Sebastian DrakeSocial accountability is when a girl is held socially accountable
for her actions. In the workplace and in her social circle, there
are social ramifications for what she does. In those places, she is
far less likely to engage in wanton, random, or potentially
disrespectful behavior. Her decisions will be more calculated and
less arbitrary. She’ll be less whimsical, and less spontaneous, and
err on the cautious side when making decisions that could put her
reputation in jeopardy.


The girl is less likely to flake.
The girl is less likely to disrespect you.
The girl is less likely to act random.
Less mood swings.
Better treatment overall.


She’ll have more fear of being judged.
She’ll be less quick and less likely to engage in casual liaisons.
She’ll be less forthcoming and open about what she really thinks
about things.
She’ll act more conservatively.

Social anonymity is when a girl is not held socially accountable
for her actions. When she meets a guy randomly in a bar, club, or
on the streets and has no binding connection with him, her actions
are socially anonymous. Her behavior will be more ruled by her
moods and whims, which can work for or against you. When you are
socially anonymous to a girl’s social circle, she is more likely to
flake, engage in whimsical behavior, or act disrespectfully – but
also more likely to do “taboo” things she’d be afraid of being
judged for in her main social circle, like extremely quick flings,
threesomes, and other such behavior.


Less fear of being judged.
She’ll open up more.
She’s likely to “roll with it” when crazy stuff comes up.
More honest, less calculated conversations and interactions.
Greater possibility of very quick interactions and escalations.


More likely to flake.
More whimsical behavior.
More potential for disrespect.
More likely to “vent”, “flip out”, or just unload all her emotional
baggage about men.

You could plot these on a scale, ranging from

Completely Anonymous <—> Completely Accountable

Completely Anonymous: No one besides her knows or has any chance of
knowing you exist. When you or her are traveling, and none of her
friends are around, and you meet by random chance, you are
completely socially anonymous.

Completely Accountable: Almost everyone significant to her knows
about you and your character. Her friends, family, and coworkers
know you, and have an opinion of you.

The vast majority of interactions we get into, we’re somewhere in

—> This is usually a mistake.

“Playing the extremes” here is VERY viable, because her behavior
gets extremely polarized at either end of the spectrum, making it
extremely easy to make judgments about what to do. The basic
formula I recommend is:

Either become an important part of her life, or be a complete
fantasy diversion from her life.

If you want to be socially anonymous, the formula is easy: Look for
girls out by themselves (99% of the time they’re looking for a guy
that night), don’t introduce her to people, keep it extremely fun
and high energy, and escalate quickly. Realize that getting phone
numbers from girls without social accountability require LOTS more
compliance and she’s still likely to flake. She needs to be
invested if you’re going to get a number, so try to get her doing
favors or spending money on you quickly.

If you want her to be socially accountable, the formula is a little
trickier but easy to implement none-the-less: You want to meet and
strike good impressions with as many people in her life as are
significant as possible. Meet her girlfriends, even talk to her
parents if possible.

Socially anonymous is easy – don’t meet anyone. Here’s some social
accountability tech –

1. Ask her about all her friends, get their names, and then ask
individually about each friend every now and then. Doing so makes
her more likely to bring you up in conversation to that friend.

2. Wish those friends well, or ask concernedly if they’re going
through tough times. Tell her you’re pulling for her friends.

3. Go out with her social circle whenever possible.

4. Introduce her to your social circle.

5. Interact with her in places where she’s a “regular” – at her
university cafe, office cafeteria, or favorite bar would be examples.

6. Encourage her to invite her friends out with you and your
friends. Invites to parties where you highly encourage her to
invite her friends are likely to get her friends out.

7. (my favorite) If she still lives with her parents (as many girls
into their 20’s do now), have her ask her parents for permission to
go out with you. Tell her to say, “Mom, I met a guy that’s a good
guy that I like, and he said he’d like you to approve him taking me
out Thursday. Can I go out with him?” Have her ask when she’s on
the phone with you. The parents will be damn impressed and love
you, and it’ll also get her having to deal with, “So…. who is
he… is he cute?” She’ll roll her eyes, and go, “Mommmmm!”

The effects:

Social accountability is more precise and will have a higher
success rate overall, but will take longer. It’s more likely to
default towards societally normal relationships, though you can
always intention map some life into them.

Social accountability is a bit more “playing the numbers game” even
with masterful command of VAC, but it leads to extremely quick and
crazy interactions. This is the stuff that gets girls in your bed
in 30 minutes, but also leads to more flaking.

Factors on choosing whether to use Social Accountability or Social

Both are powerful. Anonymity lends to more variance, but quicker
escalations and more hedonism-based relationships. Accountability
is slower and leads to mainstream relationships more often, but is
more precise and consistent.

Have fun, & keep playin’,


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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.