Learn Something From Leeches
Here is a good read from Jay at Pick Up arts.
Take what you want by Jay Valens
You MUST follow through.
There is nothing more important to whether you will get what you
want or not than if you can follow through on things that you
start. If you don’t, someone else will.
Let me give you an example. If you get a phone number from a girl,
you must of course call her to follow-up and if that doesn’t work
right away you… call her again another time. Not to say you must
be obsessive (don’t cross the line into creepy or stalker) but
where are you going to get if you drop the ball in the first place?
Sometimes you need to consider what the next step would be and ask
yourself whether it makes sense to wait or if you can just go ahead
and move things forward when they’re already in your lap.
If you have an opportunity and let it go, that is exactly
equivalent to not following through, like giving up on something
you had a chance at for no discernable reason other than you chose
to give up. Girls notice this and will NOT forgive you for it (no
matter what you see in make-believe movies!) and a girl with whom
you think you had a positive interaction with will now be much
harder to get into your bed!
So where do the leeches come in?
Here’s a story from the past, one I learned an important point
from. One day I was going around town like normal, hanging out
with my friend, talking to girls, and getting phone numbers. I was
still learning the ropes but was becoming adept at meeting and
getting numbers. Well, one time I was talking to this girl I ran
into somewhere downtown and I got a really good vibe from her. I
almost got the sense that she had nothing better to do that day
than to be approached by me but I thought “Nah, I’ll just get her
number and call her later to get together… we’ll hook up and it’ll
The vibe and interaction was really good but I hesitated to do more
than get a number because I presumed we couldn’t do any more at
that moment. However, I do know that I put her in a good state and
that she was probably a lot more open that day to meeting someone,
but I left the interaction at a point where it could have gone
further but I decided to let it go until later.
Later in the day, actually barely more than an hour later we were
in a convenience store and I noticed the same girl being chatted up
by some guy. I decided to observe from a distance and it was clear
initially from their body language that they didn’t know already
know each other. But, it didn’t seem to take the guy long to get
her genuinely laughing (the same as I’d done), genuinely interested
(same as I’d done) and soon get her phone number (been there, done
that). He probably could tell she was open to being approached
that day, something I had a hand in.
Then after he got her number and continue to chat a bit, I saw him
do something I didn’t – he encouraged her to continue hanging out
with him RIGHT THEN AND THERE, and she did and I watched them go
down the street and find somewhere to hang out and probably he
might have even gotten her in bed that same day. My gut said to
myself “What a leech!” because I felt I’d already opened the door
but had anticipated that I opened it for myself, not some other
guy. But then I thought, “What can I learn from this leech?”
I imagined if that guy dropped the ball like me, she would have
gone about her day and had ANOTHER guy notice her approachable vibe
and chat her up and maybe THAT guy wouldn’t drop the ball and would
follow through. The point is that if there is opportunity and you
don’t grab it then that opportunity is lost and very likely to be
savored by someone else.
The difference in the interactions is NOT being the guy who gets
her number, or even being the last guy to get her number, but being
the guy she WANTS to call her and, if there is opportunity to “get
further” which is not taken, then the next guy who comes along who
does take action when the opportunity is presented will get the
Don’t be the guy who drops the ball when the opportunity is right
in front of you. Because even if some other guy does not leech,
you will still be seen by her as a guy who drops the ball and
you’re toast and now you can stop wondering why the interactions
with some girls you thought you were doing well with might have
ended up fizzling.
In understanding this, you now have a solution to a big issue you
may not have even been aware of!
Next week we’ll talk about how to learn club pickups from a slug. 🙂
To learn more from The Art of the Pickup grab their free “4 Secret Questions” report. It is a devastating routine that always gets the girl intrigued by you.
About Jay Valens Jay Valens & Ray Devans are the masterminds behind The Art of the Pickup plus the founders of the first & largest site dedicated to pickup, attraction & dating advice for men... Their [pickup newsletter] is top-notch & their advice caters to average guys worldwide, not just the young college or club crowd. They regularly answer subscriber questions & have one of the most amazing pickup learning tools around, The Art of the Pickup: Tactics & Techniques.