Going Down in Flames
We all care way too much what a complete stranger that knows nothing about us thinks. Fear of rejection is the underlying emotion in most approaches.
The thought of a beautiful woman sitting there and calling you a loser in front of the entire club makes most guys stomachs turn in knots. Sort or ironically, being rejected will bring the most success with women into your life. Let me explain
Internally most guys think that they are complete lonely losers that no one could love. They greatly fear that women will find this out and have no desire for them. They learn all these cool lines and tricks but that fear of being thought of as a loser by women and confirming their already held beliefs is still strong. It carries so much wait that it cripples them from being comfortable in interactions or EVEN APPROACHING WOMEN.
They try their hardest to avoid getting rejected in order to avoid facing their own belief system. They try their very best to do everything right and LOOK COOL but by the very act of trying they are doing everything wrong. From this they place wayyy tooo much importance on getting a good re-action from the girl and becoming very outcome dependent and needy. If the interaction goes well they get a false sense of self esteem from the girl and feel good. If it goes badly then that fear of of actually being a loser is triggered and they feel terrible.
When you are outcome dependent you become very attached to what the girl thinks of you. This just breeds of insecurity and neediness which if you hadn’t guessed is a HUGE TURN OFF for women. Women are attracted to men who could take or leave any woman. Not caring whether the woman comes, stays, lays or prays seems very counter intuitive but its what will get you the best results and lead to a happier and more peaceful life.
In addition to this fear of being rejected is a fear of the unknown. If you are just starting out in approaching or have done a couple of approaches the fear of the unknown is still lingering in the background.
This fears makes your mind race at a hundred miles per hour with a million
questions:what if she pours a drink on me?what if she rejects me and all the people in the club laugh at me and I am humiliated?what if this happens?œwhat if that happens? and so on. The only way around fear of the unknown is to go straight through it and become comfortable with ambiguity of approaching and life.
When you get rejected badly and the initial sting wears down you will find it hilarious how some girls will treat a complete stranger who was just saying Hi to them and being friendly. Part of the reason why they felt the need to reject you badly is how annoyed they are at being hit on all day by guys who haven’t a clue. Another part of it is the pleasure they get from rejecting guys. They love the feeling of having the power to control another persons state of emotions through their own actions.
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About Alex S Alex is a brutally honest, charismatic, Relationship Sex and Dating Master, take no shit, compassionate, loving, meditating, self educated, truth Seeking, Natural born leader, spiritual warrior, passionate writer and teacher.