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Wine Pairing 101

Choosing Your Dates Wine

4donecoloredxA couple weeks ago I ran across a beer pairing article on TSB. It got me thinking that pairing wine is a skill you guys could use, and it’s a great DHV.

Let me explain. Most women know absolutely nothing about wine. More men know even less. But, if you ask a women about ‘that perfect romantic date’ she had to tell her friends about, 99% of the time it involves wine with your meal.

I’m going to give you a crib sheet you can memorize in 5 minutes. Play it cool and you’ll be the man. This does not mean ordering a $100 bottle… unless you’re a connoisseur you won’t tell the difference between that and a $20 bottle. Nor am I telling you to be one of those pompous assholes that smell the cork, smell the glass and swish the wine around in their mouth. Pulling that at your local Olive Garden will make you look like a tool.

Back when I was dating there was a restaurant I’d take every woman once we’d reached the ‘dinner’ phase of a relationship. The staff got to know my routine: hand out the menus and wine list then come back in 10 minutes. Let your date pick her meal first, then the wine. Now ask her what she decided. That’s when you drop ‘a chardonnay would go much better with the fish. You can thank me later.’ Works wonders.

Now what did she pick? Champagne, the most expensive bottle of red they have? This will tell you a lot about the type of person she is. Well guys, if she picked champagne you just got a cheap laugh. I’m sure you’ve all seen the Brad Pitt movie ‘Mr & Mrs Smith’… well champagne is for celebrating. The only time you have food with it is at a function where they are serving appetizers. If she want’s something expensive look at the list for the correct type then bullshit her. ‘I’ve had ‘XXXX’ before and it’s fantastic, we should definitely have that.’ Easy out.

Here’s the basics. Not a complete list but it’ll cover anything you come across.

Fish/Seafood – Chardonnay goes with almost all of it.

Chicken or Turkey – White Zinfandel if it’s baked, grilled or spicy. Merlot for everything else.

Steak/Beef – Anything with Barbecue sauce use a Zinfandel (white/red) or Merlot, every thing else you’re safe with a Cabernet Sauvignon.

Pasta and Vegan chicks – This is the tricky one. White Zinfandel for anything spicy. Any white sauce pick a Chardonnay. Italian dressing gets a Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Grigio. Merlot woks with everything else.

Now be the man and play the role. I think Roosh said it best with ‘don’t be afraid to talk out of your ass.’


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