The Seven Erroneous Zones
Last month I posted a few articles based on the book Psycho Cybernetics. The book was highly recommended to me by Mr. M of Love Systems. Although the book covered a wealth of knowledge, I focused the couple articles on practicing the art of seduction through the concepts of Sparring and Shadow boxing.
Having read the post, Mr. M volunteered another book he though was life changing. The book Your Erroneous Zones happens to be one of the first self improvement books I read back in college. I also just bought a copy of it for my girlfriend.
As most of us suffer from the erroneous beliefs, false ideals, and concepts… I thought that I would make a quick list of what Dr. Wayne Dyer terms the erroneous zones.
Not to be mistake with erogenous zones, the highly sexual areas of the body, you erroneous zones are areas that we artificially suffer, and should be avoided..
1. Not loving yourself. When most people think of the idea of “loving themselves” they mistakenly believe that it is selfish or egotistical to love yourself. But the truth is, those who truly love themselves are usually the most giving, caring, and compassionate people around. The people who hate themselves are usually the ones causing the people around them to suffer.
2. Seeking approval. For some reason we are a culture that needs to impress those around us. We need to be liked, admired, respected, and wanted. Although there is nothing wrong with “wanting” people to like you, the problem arises when you “need” the approval of others. This is the number one reason “nice guys” rarely get the girls they want.. because they “need” the girl’s approval. It is also the cause of much useless suffering. You are never going to impress everyone. So stop worrying so damn much about it.
3. Staying stuck in the past We all have things in our past that we would love to go back in time and change. But the sad reality is it is not possible. You will never be able to go back to high school and beat up the kid who used to bully you around. The girl you loved and lost freshman year is gone. She probably isn’t coming back. Move on. Your daddy didn’t pay enough attention to you while you were growing up? Join the club. Wasting the precious time you are given dwelling on any of these sort of things just diminishes your present moments.
4. Guilt and Worry. No matter how bad you feel about something you did in the past, its over and done with. Learn from it and move on. Feeling guilty about it does not help anyone. And don’t let others control you with guilt. As for worry, there are two possible scenarios for everything you are worrying about: 1. What you’re worrying about you have no control over. Which means your worry is useless. 2. What you’re worrying about you do have control over. Which means take the control and solve the problem.
5. Avoiding the unknown. I can tell you right now that the biggest cause of failure in the lives of most ordinary men is there unwillingness to leave their comfort zone. I wrote a post awhile back called Bust Through Your Comfort Zone. I highly recommend reading it if you find that you’re living an ordinary life.
6. The belief that things need to be fair. The world around you will unfold exactly how it unfolds. It doesn’t care if it rains on your wedding day. It doesn’t care if only the jerks get the girls. It doesn’t care if your too young to die. It is pointless to get caught up in “the justice trap.” The justice trap is the need for things to be fair. Life is not fair. Some people are born healthy, wealthy, and good looking. Other people are born poor, mentally challenged, and fat. That is just the way it is.
7. Procrastination. For some reason most of us believe that we’ll enjoy cleaning the garage better tomorrow, or we’ll have the courage to approach a girl the next time, or we’ll be in a better frame of mind to complete the project in a couple hours. If you’re like me, and seriously in need of help overcoming procrastination I recommend the book The Now Habit.
I think it would be wise to spend a few minutes analyzing your own life in relation to these seven erroneous zones. Which ones do you suffer from the most?
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.