Hot Girls in Scary Places

Set Your DVR Accordingly: “Hot Girls in Scary Places” Gets Green lit

If there’s one commonality among males of all ages, from the youngest stubbed-penis of a fetus to the oldest hooked-to-a-feeding-tube octogenarian, it’s that there’s nothing better than seeing attractive girls get the shit scared out of them. Realizing this, E! has made one of the best no-brainer decisions in television history: Ordering the new reality series “Hot Girls in Scary Places”. Here’s the summary from “The Live Feed”:

“The show stars three University of Southern California cheer squad friends challenged to spend the night in a supposedly haunted abandoned hospital for a cash prize of $10,000 (which would pay for maybe half a semester at USC). To get the prize, the trio will have to complete a series of challenges.”

Obviously, this is the greatest television pitch ever: It’s “The Simple Life” meets “Ghosthunters” meets “Every Teenage Boy’s Masturbatorial Fantasy”. There’s no way this is going to flop. The show premieres as a special next month on, wait for it, Friday the 13th! But should you watch it alone or at a viewing party? Let’s weigh the pros of both.

Watching It In A Group: You’ll get to build relationships with your friends, have the benefit of listening to their no-doubt witty observations, and not have the massive depression that stems from the shame of drinking alone. Mainly though, you won’t get scared by the frightening moments on the show, meaning you won’t feel as stupid as the dumb girls on TV.

Watching In Alone: You’ll get to masturbate.

Win-win!