Where To Go To Meet Women
When we coach guys, we concentrate on three things: First, throughputâ€”that is, getting a lot of women through your system, in front of you, and somewhere on your personal seduction spectrum. Second, we focus on technologyâ€”that is, knowing what to say and what to do when those women are in front of you. Third, we focus on the internal blocks and resistance that makes it hard to implement the first two parts of the program.
â€œWhere do I meet women?â€ is a question of throughput. If you arenâ€™t coming into contact with lots women on a regular basis, you arenâ€™t going to be able to practice your seduction skills, and wonâ€™t get women.
Itâ€™s hard to generate a romantic contact out of an interaction you create by going up to a woman on the street. Itâ€™s possible, but itâ€™s hard. To make life easier, you need to find niches. A niche is a place that you have found that pretty reliably puts eligible, attractive women in front of you. A skilled fisherman, for instance, doesnâ€™t just throw his line in anywhere in a lakeâ€”he knows where the best fishing holes are, and thatâ€™s where he goes. If one fishing hole isnâ€™t working, he has another and another to try. Heâ€™s also always on the lookout for new fishing holes, too. He wants his life to be easyâ€”heâ€™ll find the places where the fish he wants tend to bite, and thatâ€™s where heâ€™ll spend his time.
You must find your own personal fishing holes, your own niches for meeting women. A niche is an event you can go to that ideally does three things:
1. Puts women in front of you. If the yoga class for instance doesnâ€™t have any women in it, or any women youâ€™d be attracted to, itâ€™s not a niche for you. You want the yoga class, if there is one, that has at least a few hot women in leotards.
2. Gives you an excuse to interact with these women. A dance concert is probably not a very good niche, because it doesnâ€™t practically force interaction between the people thereâ€”you can go to the concert and not interact with any women, and they probably arenâ€™t expecting to be approached and spoken to. A dance class however, could be a nicheâ€”the other students will have to interact with you during various exercises, and it wouldnâ€™t be unexpected if you were to talk with them.
3. Itâ€™s an entry point into a community that includes women. The ideal niche is not just a â€œoneoff â€â€”itâ€™s a way to get involved with a group of people. The yoga class, for instance (and we are not recommending yoga classes above anything else, itâ€™s just an example), could lead to getting involved in the yoga community, going to pot-lucks, and meeting fit, open-minded women. Going to a personal growth training could be an intro into other group activities, where you get to meet and interact with women. New age stuff can be a niche, were you meet open-minded new-age girls, and get involved in a community of people. A church may be such a niche for you, that gets you into a community. Going dancing at â€˜80s night at the local bar is not a niche the first time you do it, but it may become one if you become a â€œregularâ€ and get to know the crowd there. Ditto for coffee shops or bookstores. Once you are a regular, and the women who go there regularly have seen you again and again, you become safer, in their minds, and itâ€™s less strange when you approach them.
So what are some examples of niches? That will vary from man to man, and area to area. Weâ€™ve posted a list of about a hundred possible niches for you to explore at How to Succeed With Women.
To find your niches, youâ€™ll need to make a habit of getting whatever weekly paper in your area has a social calendar, and looking it over for events you could go to that meet at least two of the three criteria for a niche. Then put several of them into your date book. When the time comes, GET OFF THE COUCH and go to them. It may feel awkward the first few times you go to a new possible-nicheâ€”after all, these people may know each other, and you may spend some time just drifting, or feeling a bit left out. Just know that this is normal, say hi to people (especially women!) and make what conversation you can. Be patient, have some faithâ€”it takes time for everyone to feel like they fit in when they explore a new community.
Go for it! Find your niches, find your â€œfishing holes,â€ and meet women!
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About Ron Louis Ron Louis, 33, is author of Sexpectations: Women Talk Candidly About Sex and Dating, and co-author of â€ How to Succeed with Women,â€ â€œHow to Succeed with Men,â€ â€œThe Sex Loverâ€™s Book of Lists,â€ and the â€œMastery Programâ€ tape series. He is also a dating coach. From ages 18-20 he toured the U.S. as a guitarist in a rock-and-roll band, opening for the Henry Rollins Band, and others. His website is How to Succeed With Women