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An Illogical Guide to Picking Up Women

But don't use this one, ever

But don’t use this one, ever

I wanted to take the time to discuss a topic that I think many guys still have a very hard time with internally. It is something that is so tough for many of us to comprehend because it isn’t logical. And that is the point.  In this article lets talk about what really causes attraction.

Attraction Isn’t Built With Logic

One of the reasons it took me so long to get good results with women was because I thought I was “above” selling myself. I thought that since I was presenting myself well, I had a lot to offer a woman, and that deep down I was a good guy- women would logically see that I was their best option.

This is not the case.

People do not make decisions based on logic. They make decisions based on feelings. And they use logic to back up those decisions.

Lets just quickly use an example from the advertising world. Everywhere you look you will come across advertisements promising “rapid weight loss eating anything you want!” These ads will usually contain before and after pictures of someone that has supposedly lost 100lbs with this miracle diet. And the ad will be filled with outrageous claims.

Our logical brain reads this advertisement and thinks that this can’t be possible. We think that this is just another “fake” claim built on artificial hype.

Yet this ad will probably make someone $100,000 or more.


Because people don’t make their decisions based on logic. Even though logically we all know that the only way to lose weight long term is to cut calories and spend long hours exercising…. our emotions get the best of us. We start imagining ourselves miraculously skinny. We imagine how surprised our friends will be by our weight loss. We already start to hear the compliments about our new body…

The Logical Reasons For Attraction

If you asked anyone to write down what they were looking for in a potential girlfriend or boyfriend- you would probably get answers like these:

  • Easy to talk to
  • common interests
  • faithful
  • similar goals
  • sense of humor
  • attractive
  • good hearted or kind

{{Hold Me So}}But what you find in the real world is that these things alone will not find you a girlfriend. Why? Because these are logical traits. They don’t excite you to make the purchase.

Girls may say over and over again “I want a faithful guy.”

We take this as our cue to let girls know that we are the “faithful type.”

The problem is, being faithful does not elicit emotions in women that cause them to be attracted to you. Neither does having similar goals or interests as her. And neither does having a good heart, being funny, or easy to talk to.

Just think of that “Lose Weight Fast” advertisement. That advertisement didn’t rely on facts, figures, or common sense to motivate people to take action… it motivated them to take action because it stirred in them feelings that compelled them to act. They had no choice in the matter.

“Attraction isn’t a choice” Isn’t that what David DeAngelo always says?

The Feelings That Cause Attraction

Earlier I listed the reasons that most people will recite when asked what they want in the opposite sex. If you noticed most of them were adjectives. Attraction isn’t caused by adjectives. Attraction is cause by stirring feelings within someone else.

Here is a list of the feelings that trigger attraction:

  • I want to feel admired by my friends for scoring her
  • I want to feel a strong desire to fuck her
  • I want to feel a sense of excitement in her presence
  • I want to feel wonder, curiosity, and intrigue
  • I want to feel validated- I want my ego stroked
  • I want to feel like I’m winning her over and overcoming a challenge

The list above are some of the feelings that cause me to feel strong attraction toward a woman. These answers are the not “politically correct” answers. But for most people, they are the true answers.

Once we score a girl who causes attraction by making us feel those things… we then logically rationalize our relationship with her by saying things like “She’s easy to talk to.” or “We have so much in common.”

Get Illogical

I am giving you permission to get illogical with your pickups. Throw logic out the window. Push the envelope.

Most guys are so wrapped around logic that they are so scared to push the envelop of what is possible with women. Their mind won’t let them deviate from what their brain believes should work.

Stop listening to your brain!

The truth is- it doesn’t matter how you go about creating the necessary feelings and emotions that trigger attraction. Just create them.

Next time you go out- stop thinking about anything except what you can do to create the compelling emotions in women. You want to create emotions like the sense of excitement, the feeling of horniness, the feeling of social acceptance, the sense of urgency that you might disappear forever…

These will convince women to go home with you.

Try getting illogical- just for a night.

And if you’re looking for more tips check out this article that talks about 15 ways to attract a woman.

About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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One Comment

  1. Frank

    January 9, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Women seem to thrive on a certain level of drama and conflict. They need something, tangible or otherwise, to validate their existence. A guy who is a bit aloof, but good-natured, can attract women looking for a new project. If he can create a sense of urgency that informs her that there is something about him that could brighten her world, she will feel drawn to him – even if common sense tells her that he is probably a total waste of time.

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