Testicle News: Check Your Cups

It’s time to put that “swine flu” thing on the backburner for a bit; we have a much more dangerous catastrophe to avoid. Namely, getting our balls smashed.

Always making sure to bring you the latest in testicle-protection news, we here at TSB Magazine thought it important to alert you to this upsetting news release by Under Armour, announcing a full recall of their athletic cups. You see, if you were caught in a compromising position while wearing their brand of ball-protector – a position like, say, this guy – then there’s a good chance your testicles received some “cuts and bruising” from shattered plastic. Here’s the important part of the press release:

Hazard: The cups can break if hit, posing a risk of serious injury hazard to athletes.

Incidents/Injuries: Under Armour has received five reports of cups breaking, including an injury involving cuts and bruising.

So yes, let’s all go into our drawers and make sure we don’t have any of these Under Armour cups, and if we do to go out to our local athletic store and purchase something a little less “testicle-cutting”. After all, we must protect this house. And by “house”, we mean “balls”.