Boob News: Flashers Taking Over Disneyland!

Theme parks suck.

Trying to navigate through the massive summer crowds, annoyingly fat families with their fat children, and the cauldron-like heat that creates a massive powder keg of anger and hate, forces any reasonable person to pray to the deity of their choice to give them the sweet, blissful relief of a fatal aneurysm. So if you have to head to one of the Disney-owned theme parks this summer, you’re looking for any kind of positive news to grab onto. And now we have some: There may be boobies.

Time is reporting that the Mouse will no longer be instructing its employees to scan the souvenir photos you can purchase after riding their roller coasters to make sure no females are showing off their mammary glands. This is important news, people!

Disney says it will no longer scan riders on Splash Mountain and three other rides for guests who feel the need to flash their breasts for souvenir photos.

Disney confirmed Tuesday that it has reassigned employees at Disneyland and Disney’s California Adventure who watched for breast-baring riders because “actual inappropriate behaviors by guests are rare.”

Finally! Some good news to come out of this recession! With policy changes like this, it’s only a matter of time before Disneyland truly becomes “The Happiest Place on Earth”. And by “happy”, I mean “Boner-est”.