Showing Appreciation, Getting Over Breakups and Friends With Benefits
I hope you guys enjoyed the Approach Anxiety version last week! If you’d like to focus on some other specific topics, send in your suggestions to thomas@tsbmagazine.com. Next week, I will have some substantial updates of my life concerning my career, the lady who is now my girlfriend and my social life. For now, I’ll just answer some emails from the mailbag. You guys have been awesome! As always, feel free to comment below as well. The questions from this week should spark some discussion.
Mailbag time.
How does a guy show appreciation for his significant other?
That’s a really unique question, there. For me, the real solution has always been this quote:
“Actions speak louder than words.”
But the key to doing that is one that not many guys actually realize. You have to listen and then take action. Listen to what she is saying and then be able to relate, understand, help, surprise or come through in the clutch. Show appreciation for your lady and take her out on dates. Listen to things that make her happy and surprise her every once in a while with something. If she does something for you that makes you happy, treat her to some well-deserved pampering.
Appreciation is the recognition or enjoyment of the qualities of someone. Seems easy right? All you have to do is listen. She gives you most of the answers with her just talking.
When I go out and meet women, it’s always a good time and I am able to get a few numbers from some really cute girls. The problem for me is that I am not looking for a committed relationship and just want to have a more physical relationship. How do I get that across to women without sounding like a douchebag or misleading them?
Well, my friend, there will always be that chance of being labeled a douchebag by asking for this. But when I read this, it makes me wonder if you are looking to have this relationship with ONE person or MORE. That answer will change many things. But to give you the basics of this it all comes down to one thing. You MUST be honest.
You need to let these women know what you are looking for and not be apologetic about it. They will either accept it or they won’t. I’m not saying to say it in the first few seconds of meeting a woman – unless it really calls for it. But if you were to go out on a date or if you are getting into some deeper conversation with her, you need to be honest so she knows what to expect from you.
Yes, it’s blunt. Yes, it’s rather bold. Yes, she may hate you. But on the flipside, you get it out of the way and there are women are looking for that as well. Better to get it out of the way than wait and risk manipulating the whole situation, which actually makes you look like a HUGE douchebag.
About Thomas Edwards Thomas is a dating and lifestyle coach out of Boston and he helps men and women learn how to live more prosperous lives in hopes of finding self-fulfillment, love and satisfaction. He has decided to do a weekly segment called Ask a Wingman. Every week he will be answering your questions (with his tidbits) from the TSBMAG mailbags, so if you want your question answered, send them his way. thomas@tsbmagazine.com