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Maintaining the Life You Build, Birthday Presents, Cheating?!

Ask Your Wingman

Things have been pretty crazy for me as of late, with so much going on in my life right now. My feeling is, “if you’re busy these days with work and life, that’s a great thing.” We all talk about how much effort that is needed to create a life and bring in the kinds of opportunities and women we want. Not many talk about how much effort is required to maintain said life. And let me tell you, it requires just as much, if not, more effort.

When you acquire more responsibilities, other parts of your life that take time do naturally diminish. The important thing is to be disciplined to save your personal time, no matter what. It will keep you sane when things can get out of control and sometimes overwhelming. As I have been organizing/sponsoring more events and seeing more clients, not only has my time with my girlfriend (who has been amazingly supportive) decreased, my personal time has diminished exponentially. Will it be to my detriment? I personally don’t think so. Naturally, you just have to adapt and keep pushing, while still doing things that could be called maintenance. And if things do get tough and you are searching for support from others in your efforts to do what you want, always remember this.

Those who matter won’t mind and those who mind, won’t matter.

Now, about this thing called maintenance. Maintenance is what keeps your relationships strong, your opportunities a-coming and your life intact. The moment you get complacent and let things go, your life will fall apart around you. Take it from me. I had the same thing happen to me my senior year in college. I had everything, thought I accomplished all of my goals and didn’t feel the need to keep going. I settled for what I had, and not only lost my girlfriend, but my job, the respect of my friends, administrators and most importantly, myself. In a matter of weeks, my life was in shambles and I had to start all over again. I was an silly to think that once I met my goals, I was done and didn’t have to try anymore.

I refuse to let that happen again. I will die trying before I let that happen again.

TSBMag and I have been able to help you learn how to build a life for yourself. I think for those who have learned this material and succeeded to a certain degree, we should start to focus on how to keep this life that you have worked so hard in building. I love doing a series so I will start next week with women and relationships. Here is your chance to comment below on what you would like me to discuss when it comes to maintaining these relationships next week. If you have relationship management/maintenance questions, email me at

Mailbag time.

Hey, man. I have been hooking up with this girl for a few months now. We’ve never had the conversation about where the relationship is going but I can say that I do see us in a committed relationship in the near future. With that being said, her birthday is coming up and I’m not sure what I should get her. I don’t want to be over the top – because we’re not together but I don’t want it to be half-assed either. What I get her could determine if we’ll be together in the future.

What should I get?

I really wouldn’t believe that what you get her will determine your chances of longevity with her but if I were you, I wouldn’t half-ass it either. You have a few options that are pretty simple. You can do REALLY simple and get her flowers. Or you can make it a fun night and take her out to her fave place for dinner, drinks and dancing – if that’s your thing. Just put some thought into what you do/get for her and you’ll be fine.

Getting a birthday present shouldn’t be a big deal as long as you put in effort, thought and she’s the type of girl that will appreciate the sentiment from you.


Simple Trick Tells You if a Girl Wants You to Kiss Her

Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?

Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.

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About Thomas Edwards Thomas is a dating and lifestyle coach out of Boston and he helps men and women learn how to live more prosperous lives in hopes of finding self-fulfillment, love and satisfaction. He has decided to do a weekly segment called Ask a Wingman. Every week he will be answering your questions (with his tidbits) from the TSBMAG mailbags, so if you want your question answered, send them his way.

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