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BlotterWatch: This Is Why It’s Good To Be Fat

So this news story is a bit old – from about a month ago – but it’s been awhile since we took a trip through the wacky police blotter stories, and this one is worth noting.

In short, a 25-year-old fella was arrested and taken to city jail. While being admitted, he underwent the normal body cavity search, nude shower down procedure all inmates go through in order to make sure they’re not sneaking anything in. The next day, the folks working in the jail noticed the new inmate already had acquired a 9mm handgun and two ammo clips. And how was he able to sneak such a weapon in undetected? By being morbidly obese. I should have mentioned dude was 600 pounds.

Houston Police Officers Union President Gary Blankinship said cadets are trained how to search morbidly obese people.

“We teach officers to lift up and look under,” Blankinship said. “The officer may not have arrested anyone this big before.”

Blankenship said that system clearly does not always work.

“They can be so big, basically short of strip searching or searching cavities, they could miss something like this,” said Blankinship.

To serve and protect. And sometimes look inside people’s fat rolls. Also of note, the dude looks pretty much exactly like Hurley from Lost:

Fat Guy

Maybe this is really just some viral story placed by the Lost writers to get us psyched for the final season.


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About Rick Mosely Rick is the editor for TSB magazine.

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