Scaring Children: The Easy Way
Everyone knows that the one great thing about Halloween – besides buxom girls having the excuse to dress slutty – is scaring the fuck out of children. My dad had this simple device that worked like a charm every year:
1. Create a life-size replica of yourself.
This was remarkably easy. All you need to do is get an outfit – my dad’s choice was a pair of overall, some socks, and a sweatshirt – fill it up with a bunch of newspaper, and stick one of those cover-the-entire-head masks on top.
2. Set for two weeks.
This is the most important step. Stick the fake prop on a chair or something near the door, but not out of sight from the street. The point of this is so the neighborhood kids can get accustomed to the sight of the fake body.
3. On Halloween night, swap in the real thing.
And here’s where the payoff comes. Take the outfit from the fake body, wear it yourself, and sit on that chair. Act lifeless until kids come for candy, and then … pop up to life and scare the fuck out of them. Success!
4. Prepare for a lawsuit.
While this never happened to my dad, there’s always a chance. Thought I should warn you.
If that seems like too much work, head over to Lifehacker for directions on how to create this pop-up prop contraption:
Either way, do something to teach those kids the vital lesson that there’s no such thing as being safe!
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About Rick Mosely Rick is the editor for TSB magazine.