They say you can never really know someone. No matter who it is, if it’s your best friend, mother, or girlfriend, they still hold some secrets that you will never get to. (Unless, of course, all the shit comes out in a trial.) Which is why I love the idea of sports-based tattoos so much.

Allow me to explain: The fact that a person will get their team’s insignia, helmet, or some kind of spirited proclamation printed on their body forever is such an immediate indicator that this person is fucking crazy. You know all you need to know about them. It’s refreshing. Instead of constantly playing Columbo, trying to find subtle clues to unlock the reality of their personality, you see that single sports-based tattoo, and you’re pretty sure this person doesn’t have much of a second layer to them. As Bill Simmons has said about the current state of sports, you root for laundry. And that person roots for laundry so hard, he has a tattoo of it.

Which brings us to this:

Courtesy of Deuce of Davenport comes this amazing bit of sports tattooing. While getting a Hall of Famer like Johnny Unitas written on your whatever (still not sure if this is on an arm or a leg, or some kind of freakish penis) is somewhat respectable, having the phrase “Throw It In Her Butt” officially negates that. In any case, congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’re smarter than this person!