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Cool Shit: The Bulletproof Pocket Square

INT. SRULI RECHT, A COMPANY THAT DESIGNS CLASSY CLOTHES:

Designer: ?You know what we need??

Assistant: ?What?s that, sir??

Designer: ?Some kind of new take on the classic pocket square??

Assistant: ?Can you change it and keep it classic??

Designer: ?There must be a way ??

(five hours later)

Assistant: ?How about disposable??

Designer: ?In this day and age of environment-friendly liberals? It?ll never fly.?

(five hours later)

Assistant: ?Pocket squares that double as toilet paper??

Designer: ?I am trying my hardest not to punch you in the face right now.?

(another ten hours later)

Assistant: ?I don?t know, bulletproof?

Designer: ?Fuck it. Whatever. Sure. Let?s go get a drink.?

Assistant: ?Why are we talking in English anyway? Aren?t we German??

Designer: ?Who knows at this point??

With that said, there is a minor clause in this company?s claim that deserves mentioning:

* If a gun is aimed at you, fired, and the slug hits you, you will be hurt despite the properties of the square; The impact of the projectile itself is likely to fracture, crack or break your bones and bruise you.?According to the specifications of the textile, a ballistic projectile such as a bullet will not pass through thirty two layers of this material.?We take NO responsibility for those who feel compelled to test the endurance or resistance of the textile in any way.

Go! Buy it! Now! It?s worth it to protect a very, very, very, very, very small part of your body!

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About Rick Mosely Rick is the editor for TSB magazine.

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