Interview: Vince Kelvin from “Seduction Coaching”
Vince Kelvin is the author of “The Same Night Sex System” and creator of “Integrated Game”. He’s the owner of Seduction Coaching, one of the initial companies in the community, with clients in over 32 countries. In the past two
decades, he has conducted over 17,000 hours of one-one-one sessions and has addressed over 2,500 audiences worldwide. He’s the recipient of numerous awards, including “Hypnotist of the Year”, “Best Dating Products”, “Best Openers” and the Anthony Robbins “Leadership” Award. He and his wife Amy are the founders of the Original PUA World Summit and Awards held yearly in Hollywood CA.
1. What do you think is the core thing holding most guys back from having sex with 9’s and 10’s?
It’s simple, basic law of attraction. We usually don’t get the women we want, but the ones we think we deserve. Every straight guy on the planet wants the 9s and the 10s, but how many of them think that the 9s and 10s want THEM? So the core change must start with how we view ourselves in relation to extremely good looking and attractive women. It’s not enough to want and desire, we must allow ourselves to recognize and accept our own ways in which WE ARE desirable.
Now there’s two main ways to do that:
1. Compare ourselves with the kind of guy we think the hottest girls would want to have sex with and try to be like that. Problem is that it puts us into a frame of “I am not enough as I am right now, but maybe, if only…!” And not feeling complete and sufficient is counterproductive in our interactions, because women can unconsciously feel it. So we try to chase that false idea of the “Ideal US”, bouncing back and forth between hope and desperation. Plus what if like me you happen to be 5’6, as an example. Then the stereotype of the “Tall guy gets the girl” will drive you crazy into trying, because there’s no way I will ever be 6’5, LOL!!!
Now the second, much more grounded and helpful option is to…
2. Realize that we are all human beings, and let go of anything that supports the idea that 9s and 10s are “special” and that you need to be a certain way to be with them. It’s a form a reversed discrimination. Unfair to ourselves and all beautiful women in the world, because why should they miss out on awesome guys like us! So brothers, let us march to liberate all those poor women that the old frames of dating had confined into a tiny little box, just because of their looks, LOL!
Seriously, the core “secret” to bed more beautiful women, if there is such thing as “one secret” LOL, is to NO LONGER think that you have to be a superman to get superwomen, because superwomen don’t exist! Instead recognize that we’re all human beings, and start treating 9s and 10s as human beings. It’s fresh, freeing, and disarming. And much more in tune with how life really is. Now because they are used to be treated in a special way, you may have to give it a little patience and not be fooled by their initial response.
And to clarify, I am not saying that we should not do all that way can to be at our best! But whatever we do to constantly improve, we must do it for ourselves, not to please or impress women. And in a balanced way were we combine “I am absolutely fine the way I am, I can succeed as I am” and “I will do all that I can to keep on refining myself, and learn all I need”.
2. What was your “ah ha” moment in regards to same night sexy? And how can guys implement it in their own lives?
I remember it as if it was yesterday, even though it was back in the 90s. My whole life was getting better and better, as I was studying and teaching self-improvement! BUT, and as you probably know, it is a BIG BUT, I still wasn’t getting any sex!!! Healthier, wealthier, wiser, but still no pussy!!! Sick and tired of the embarrassment of having to buy porn on VHS (You lucky ones who are reading this and became aware of your sexual needs AFTER the birth of the internet, LOL)!
Anyway, I fell into such a deep hole of sexual starvation and dating desperation, IT HAD TO CHANGE. So I finally reached a place of true resolution, and made a bet with my roommates that in deed, I would GET LAID. Took me 24 hours, I talk about it in my new book. No my sets sucked, my approaches were chaotic, getting her to a hotel room took more effort than getting a cat to take a bath, BUT I DID IT!
Now this was pre-community, I had zero knowledge whatsoever. So it comes to prove that if you had only ONE THING, let it be A TRUE RESOLUTION. My resolution was SO STRONG, that close to 20 years after, I am still more driven, passionate and exciting about it all than even the most desperate and committed newbie.
Now of course, it wasn’t enough, but it’s where you must start. Otherwise, the life-span of your interest and involvement with the community will probably not be long enough for you to truly master what you’ll need for a lifetime of fun, fulfillment and freedom with women.
3. What will a guy learn in the Same Night Sex System?
The Same Night Sex System will bridge the gap that pretty much every guy out there falls into. The gap between interaction and intercourse. Ultimately, sex can happen a lot sooner and more smoothly than we expect it, when we learn how to honor both our desire and women’s way to process and embrace their own sexuality. Most men tend to either be too aggressive, “Hey baby you want to f@*k”, or to passive, “OK then, when should I call you?” The key is to find that middle ground in which we are neither too needy nor too lazy. To make it happen in a way that goes beyond just wanting to “get laid” (which you will, rest assured), but that is more about becoming a master at generating fun mutually beneficial, freeing and empowering spontaneous sexual encounters. Which will serve not only for same night sex, but will also be there for you in your approaches, relationships, and any aspect of your dealings with women.
The book and CD series are designed in a way where we address the art of SNS at the following levels:
1. Foundation: Making the process “FEMALE FRIENDLY”. What is most unique about this system, is that if we were to share it with a group of women, they would not only find the men/women sexual perspective outlined in it actually accurate, but also appealing and empowering to women. My wife Amy could attest of it, as she did the entire formatting and design of the book, having to read it at least ten times, and she never once told me, “Hold it there, this is demeaning to women”, on the contrary, she found it uplifting and refreshing compare to the angle most often taken in community.
THE KEY I most emphasize is that the fastest way to inspire sexy women into amazing sex, is for us to view the sexual encounter in a greater light. Women will never go for less, or if they do, they’ll regret it later (buyers remorse), but they will always go for me. Get them to feel better about themselves, feel like it was the right choice, like it was a treat and a gift, that they won by going for it. For that ask yourself, “Are you out there to just get laid?” Because if we were to survey women to find out if they would find it appealing to be with a guy because “He really needs to get laid”, I doubt they would find that form of “sexual charity” truly flattering and compelling, LOL! So how can you, starting today, come from a new place in which women would find it so appealing to be part of this wild adventure with you, they would naturally allow themselves to go for it.
2. The Mechanics: For most men, there’s two gears; being attracted, then trying to f#^k her, LOL! Like attempting to get the elevator to go from the 1st to the 10th floor without passing by the other floors! Even if we skyrocket the elevator, it still has to pass through what’s in between. So the system will help you to achieve greater speed, so you don’t have to “take the stairs” so to speak and can be much more direct, WITHOUT skipping floors, which causes interactions to snap! It is about taking responsibility for any last minute resistance.
3. Magical Ingredient: Finally, sure, each day we see plenty hot girls we’d love to get in bed with, BUT DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AS THE MAN WITH WHOM THEY WANT TO DO THAT??? Until that changes or gets more solid, it probably will be at best “close but not quiet”.
I also wanted to make sure that it would be super READER’S FRIENDLY, so you are able to read it more rapidly and get the benefit of a sense of completion, rather than one of these books we linger on with feeling like it’s a task to finish it. And there’s a bootcamp element in it, in which it is very interactive with in field missions and inner game exercises for each of the steps.
Actually, rather than to try to explain it, how about as a gift to all those reading, we give you a free chapter from the book on how to use “Games and Roles Play for SEXUAL CONDUCTIVITY. Simply go to www.SameNightSexSystem.com and click on link there to download it.
In conclusion, beyond having a very potent system for fast fun sex with hotties, the higher aim is to tap into greater levels of choice and freedom as a man, knowing that YOU CAN, BUT you don’t have to. Power without neediness. Sex as a choice, not a dependency. Sex as a gift, not as a fix. Sex as a plus, not as an end. Interestingly enough, it’s when we learn how to transcend our ego based need for sex (impress buddies, prove we were not so bad after all, get women as trophies), that we join a whole new rank of much fever men that get a unique form of attention and attraction from women, in which they can sense that there’s something much greater about you! What ultimately they always wanted, the same freedom we so ardently seek ourselves, that of being lifted up from the insecurities and hurt that we had bought into in our early years of dealing with the opposite sex. So go beyond attempting to become “THE PLAYER”, into being the “SEXUAL HEALER”, it will take us all much further.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you also to Bobby Rio for making this interview possible. Hope you got much value from it, and feel free to email me any questions to Vince@SeductionCoaching.com.
And remember, SAFE SEX OR NO SEX!
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.