Six Steps To Get Out Of “The Friend Zone”
So what is the answer to one of the most commonly asked question in dating ever since the beginning of time: How do I turn a friend in to a lover?
It’s all a matter of know when and how to play your cards right with your target of choice. These are my six steps to get you out of the friend zone and get women sexually interested in you.
1. Limit your availability. I’m willing to bet that whenever this girl does call you, you eagerly answer the phone and chat with her for as long as she wants.
You THINK that when you spend two hours on the phone with her, sharing your life stories and telling her about the girl who broke your heart when you were in the tenth grade, you’re building some kind of deep “connection” with her. But what you’re actually doing is removing ANY sense of mystery about yourself, and letting her know that you have nothing else going in your life … and no other women. This is massively UN-attractive to her.
(I know that when you’re a man who is struggling with his dating life, and haven’t hooked up with a chick in a while, this takes a LOT of discipline. Your instinct is to make yourself totally available to her and try to spend as much time as possible with her. Well, go ahead and keep doing it this way, if you want to keep wondering why women keep placing you in the friend zone.)
2. Until you’ve slept with a woman, limit your phone chats with her to five minutes. And don’t get caught up in constant text-messaging. Give her the sense that you’re a busy man with places to be.
Use these short phone calls, or text exchanges, to lock down your plans to see her again. Save the deep conversations for when you are actually spending time with her.
3. Women are moody and emotional. Get used to it, and know how to deal with it. When she start acting weird or distant, she is testing you. She wants to see how you will respond. Do you kiss her ass and ask her “what’s wrong?” Do you get frustrated and angered by her behavior? (Either of these responses will only make her get more moody!)
Or, do you behave like a firm, direct MAN? (Tell her, “Well, I can tell you’ve got some things on your mind right now, so why don’t you take some time to sort it out and get back to me. I’ve got some things I need to handle right now.”)
4. Her ex-boyfriend is irrelevant. Women commonly use the excuse, “I got out of a bad relationship recently, I don’t know if I’m ready for someone new, I don’t want to get hurt again,” etc. It’s all crap, basically. The truth is, if she met a confident, attractive man RIGHT NOW who made her feel a sexual connection, she’d forget about her ex-boyfriend in about 2.3 seconds. When she talks about her ex, and how she’s “not ready,” what she really means is that you’re not making her feel attraction, and so she’s testing you to see what kind of man you are.
You need to put her in a positive, fun state of mind and keep her there. When she thinks of you, she should think of fun times and feeling good about herself. The last thing you want to do is allow her to dwell on her ex-boyfriend and be her “shoulder to cry on.” If she ever mentions him, change the subject.
And never refer to him by name because it only aggravates her emotional state. (Instead, refer to him as “that guy.” Make him seem irrelevant and insignificant.)
HER: “I guess I’m just in a bad mood today because it would have been my third anniversary with my ex, John…”
YOU: “Well it sounds like that guy didn’t appreciate you the way he should have, and it’s his loss. I’m just glad we’re getting to know each other, because I can tell there’s a lot more to you than meets the eye. So tell me more about ________”
Change the subject onto something that gets her in a positive, talkative mood.
5. Never confess your attraction to her. Women interpret this as a sign of weakness. You’ve been taught by the media that woman want a soft, sensitive guy who isn’t afraid to confess his feelings. Actually, the opposite is true. She needs to know you are a strong, emotionally secure and confident MAN.
Once you’ve got a sexual relationship going with her, and she’s bonded to you, feel free to be a sweet, loving boyfriend and do all of the romantic things that drive her wild. But until then, you’ve got to play it cool.
6. Finally, be willing to “man up” and walk away. If for whatever reason she just can’t sort out her feelings, cut her loose. Trust me, if you were involved with two or three OTHER women right now, you wouldn’t have the time or the interest to play games with some chick who can’t make up her mind. When you have multiple options, you will ALWAYS feel confident and in control.
Don’t make the mistake that most guys make, and place “all of your eggs in one basket.” This is also one of the biggest mistakes guys make when they want to turn a friend into something more. There focus too much on that one girl.
Once a woman has mentally placed you in “The Friend Zone,” it’s difficult to change her feelings towards you. Ideally, you never want to her to view you as her platonic, non-sexual “buddy” in the first place. This is why when you do meet up with women for a date, you’ve got to take things in a sexual direction. This doesn’t mean you have to sleep with women on the first date. But you MUST establish some physical contact and make her feel that you’re a sexual possibility for her.
That’s the difference between guys who always suffer in the “Friend Zone,” and guys who GET IT DONE.
If you’re constantly pulling your hair out trying to figure out how to get that ONE SPECIAL GIRL you’ve always fantasized about (but she ONLY treats you as a friend/brother and NOTHING else), watch these videos to learn how to CHANGE HER MIND and turn the tables IMMEDIATELY.
About Simon Heong Simon Heong is widely regarded as one of the most respected Asian Dating Consultant & Publisher. His specialty is turning a friend into a lover. To get instant FREE access to his no BS, cutting edge strategies & techniques for success with women, just go over and sign up for his free newsletters at http://www.friendtogirlfriend.com.