Cameron Diaz Is Full of Viruses!

Leave Cameron Diaz Alone!

Yes, the title of the post may be a little misleading. There’s no evidence that the actual Cameron Diaz has any viruses of any kind. So please, if you somehow find yourself in a situation where you meet in a bar and she invites you back to her hotel room for a nightcap, do the right thing and go with her! However, if you are like the other 99.9999999% of the world and are simply fantasizing about the events that would unfold after the nightcap, and need some visual aids to help along the “process,” well, then you might want to steer clear of Diaz altogether.

McAfee, the large anti-virus computer company, unveiled their 4th annual “Dangerous Internet Searches” list last week. And tops on the list, is Ms. Diaz herself:

The company says searching for the “latest Cameron Diaz pictures and downloads yields a 10 percent chance of landing on a website that’s tested positive for online threats, such as spyware, adware, spam, phishing, viruses and other malware.”

Other notable star searches that lead to viruses include Anne Hathaway, Julia Roberts, Anna Paquin, and Penelope Cruz. In other words, any hot actress out there. So we recommend just doing what we do around here and send an intern every week to get the latest tabloids, have that intern cut out the hottest photos and tape them up in the walls of an office room that doubles as a masturbatorium. Also, have the intern stock it with plenty of tissues. Do not, however, force the intern to clean up your “leave-behinds” as that constitutes cruel and unusual punishment in most states. Unless they’re getting college credit. Then it’s fair game.

The point is, keep it safe out there when you’re doing your image searches. The other point of this post, obviously, is to give us the reason to post this photo of Cameron Diaz: