Your Rooting Guide to the 2010 Baseball Playoffs, AL
The NL half will run tomorrow.
The baseball playoffs start Wednesday, and since at least one really cool team has been eliminated, I’m assuming that a lot of you are thinking, “Hmmm, what team should I root for?” Well, think no more, with this essay, you’ll be able to figure out your 2010 playoff team.
At the top of the list is the former ultimate underdog, the Tampa Bay Rays. Playing in the toughest division in baseball (because of the presence of 2000, 2004, 2007 and 2009 World Series Champions, and only three years since 2000 not having a team in the World Series) they are in the playoffs for the second time in their history.
Why you should root for them: Great young players like Evan Longoria and David Price and the possible last hurrah for free agent to be and face of the franchise Carl Crawford. Plus, they are probably the best bet to keep the Yankees from winning it all, and does anyone need Yankees fans to become more insufferable?
Why you should really root for them: Bay rhymes with Ray. They’re a poetic team. That’s really cool! Ok, not really, but remember, they could beat the Yankees.
Best Looking Girl Associated with the Rays: Former Tampa resident Jenn Sterger.
Of course, if you like dynasties and favorites, you could always root for New York Yankees, winners of 27 World Series (seventeen more than the second place St. Louis Cardinals.) I mean you root for the U.S.A in the Olympics, don’t you? Why not root for the Yankees too?
Why you should root for them: Former owner George Steinbrenner passed away this year, and a World Series championship would really be a nice way to pay tribute to one of the games biggest personalities of the past thirty plus years. Even though, as worm food, he really could care less.
Why you should really root for them: Do you still fly the confederate flag? Then why are you rooting against the Yankees? If that doesn’t work for you, just think that you can always lord a Yankee victory over Red Sox fans so they’re a little less insufferable.
Best Looking Girl Associated with the Yankees: Derek Jeter’s main squeeze, Minka Kelly.
Is there a friendlier team than the Minnesota Twins? Their team symbol is two guys shaking hands for the love of Pete. Even if you don’t root for them, heck, they wouldn’t mind.
Why you should root for them: In Justin Morneau (who should be back for the ALCS (Ed. note: Or not.)) and Joe Mauer, they have two former MVP award winners (and Morneau was in line for a third before being sidelined with a concussion in July), the most of any of the playoff teams.
Why you should really root for them: It’s Minnesota. By next week, it will be cold and miserable there. Besides electing Jesse “The Body” Ventura to be their Governor, they’ve really not had much going for them since the Twins last won the World Series in 1991 and with the way Favre is playing, it won’t be better this football season.
Best Looking Twins: Brittany and Cynthia Daniel from “Sweet Valley High” and “The Basketball Diaries.”
Has a team been through a tougher year than the Texas Rangers? Before the 2001 season, they signed Alex Rodriguez to a ten year, $250 million dollar contract that they unloaded on the Yankees after only three years, but the team still declared bankruptcy earlier this year for what has to be even more bad business decisions. Now, with bankruptcy court behind them, they have finally made the playoffs for the first time since 1999.
Why you should root for them: It might be the ultimate third act of redemption for former number one draft pick Josh Hamilton. After almost falling out of baseball completely due to drug abuse, he’s been back for a few years showing the talent that made him the first pick of his draft. Sure, showing off in the Home Run Derby was a pretty big highlight, but a World Series ring while managing not to get any champagne in his mouth would be a real triumph.
Why you should really root for them: If you don’t, team president and new co-owner Nolan Ryan will treat you like Robin Ventura and punch you repeatedly in the face. Had enough? You know who else is a Texas Ranger? Walker. If you don’t root for the Rangers, prepare to meet Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick to finish you off.
Best Looking Girl Associated with Texas Rangers: Rachel Leigh Cook, star of “Texas Rangers.”
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About Jason McClain Jason is an aspiring novelist, which means there is a lot of time to put off writing and watch baseball or go fly-fishing, hiking and traveling. By "a lot of time", Jason means "procrastination."