It’s OK To Show Interest In Women
I got an interesting comment on my last post that got me thinking, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. The commenter noted that I take a “go ahead and show your interest” approach to women, whereas some of the other leading dating advice experts promote using more complex “interest showing tactics” which he found confusing.
So, just what is the story with showing interest in a chick? Do you need to be “indirect” or should you just get in there and let her know that you’re feeling her right from the start?
These are the questions I want to talk about today.
In an ideal world every woman you liked would like you back and you could just approach them and let them know what’s up. However in reality, some women just aren’t gonna be with your program, and showing interest in them leaves you wide open for rejection. And rejection can hurt.
So, to avoid this rejection (and facing the potential pain that goes along with it) guys look for alternatives. They want a method where they can be totally indirect with women so as to “hide” the fact that they’re interested. It has even been argued that women respond better to this type of approach!
Here’s the point that guys miss… If you are talking to a girl, she can tell that you are interested no matter how hard you try to hide it, girls really aren’t that stupid!
Even if you make a point to tell her that you “only have a second because I’ve got to get back to my friends” and that you just want to get a “real quick female opinion on something,” she’ll still know that you want her, and she could still reject you just as easily. So why try to hide it?
Some guys believe that women will be less likely to harshly reject them if they take this approach because what girl is going to blow out some harmless dude who just wants to ask a question and needs to get back to his friends?
But what this really does is put you in a defensive position with women right from the start. You are conciously trying to protect yourself from this perceived threat by acting fake and neutered and trying to hide your interest, and that’s not sexy…
Like I said, women can tell when you are interested in them, so you’re not fooling anybody, and when you start a conversation under the guise that you aren’t interested, women can see that too.
Women much prefer it when you can be a man, and own the fact that you want that ass.
Sure, you can use an indirect approach and still get your girl, but I contend that you can get the girl in spite of your half-assed approach, not because of it.
That being said, how does a guy deal with his fear of rejection, and still march forward and meet women authentically?
Here are a few ideas:
1) Learn how to flirt
Most guys don’t know how to communicate the fact that they are sexually attracted to a chick in a smooth way a.k.a. flirting, and this inability causes them to seek out deceptive, manipulative strategies. By learning the correct way to show interest, men can skip all that b.s., be authentic, and show women that they really know what’s up.
2) Work on your inner game
If you felt great about yourself, you wouldn’t be afraid of being rejected by any girl, and that’s a fact! One of the reasons it takes some guys so long to improve with women is that they never want to do the hard stuff and address the underlying causes for their lack of success. In order to be a man who attracts women, you need to make self-development your top priority.
3) Use online dating
When you send a message to a woman on a dating site, there is no way too hide the fact that you’re interested, I mean it’s a dating site for Pete’s sake. This way you can practice showing interest in women without the fear of an awkward rejection. Heck, if you use my methods you’ll even get women to contacting you first and when that happens you have absolutely no reason to want to try to hide your interest.
I’ve created a program that teaches guys how to annihilate self-limiting beliefs, build confidence, show interest the right way, and totally crush it online. It’s available on my website and it comes with $275 worth of free coaching to guarantee your success! Check it out now.
About Jake Vandenhoff Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit www.jakevandenhoff.com to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.