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Your Ultimate 2010 Bowl Preview

Based On The Real Important Stuff

There are many reasons to watch college football. The oldest football rivalries in the country are played on the college gridiron. Maybe you want to know more about the sport that garners the highest ratings of any of our nation’s major sports. The clichéd “nothing else to do on holidays” could always be played. Just don’t give me the whole “amateur sports are pure forms” thing. I don’t buy it.

I’m not going to argue for paying collegiate athletes; really it’s just the opposite. The players, the schools, the coaches, they all make out like bandits. The coaches are the obvious ones, as 59 coaches will make at least one million dollars in total pay, led by Nick Saban’s $5.997 million. The schools are the next obvious ones as any BCS game pays around $17 million dollars to the conference that then splits up all the bowl appearance fees according to the rules of the conference. Last year, the kitty from just the BCS was $142.5 million. As for the players, tuition averages $27K a year, which is good for the students that go for the education.

Oh, and there's other things to watch at games too

For those looking to showcase their talents to a national audience so they can play on Sundays, the BCS game last year got over 19 million viewers which, if it was a weekly event like Sunday Night Football that averages 21 million viewers, a 30-second ad would cost $415,000. So, for playing for “free,”* the value of just playing a quarter of the time (1/2 time for each team, 1/2 for offense and defense) or 15 minutes in this bowl game for would be valued at something like $6.2 million. Before you argue that elite athletes are getting shorted as they could earn more in the pros, and the elite athletes in football should not have to support other teammates, male and female athletes in most other collegiate sports and even sometimes their opponents, consider without those other athletes, the elite athlete would have no competition, and that is just a combine. The elite athlete could always skip school, since the combine is free.

* I have no proof that Reggie Bush and Cam Newton’s father are the only people taking money, but considering what I know of human nature and how steroids in sports turned out, I’m betting that “greed is good” goes beyond “Wall Street.”

So, let’s celebrate the money and value of college sports by selecting to view those bowl games that sound the most commercial. That way the bowl games know that we like commercialization the best.

AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl: Air Force vs. Georgia Tech.

Monday, December 27th.

Going to the AdvoCare V100 website, I was immediately struck by the phrase under the heading, “Is This You?”: “Coaches looking for an NCAA permissible product for collegiate athletes.” Which to me is translated as, “Look, we all know that boys will be boys and they love eating and putting things in their mouth so that they will get bigger, so you might as well get our product before they find something else.” Air Force (8-4) is the third team selected out of the Mountain West conference and Georgia Tech (6-6) is the 7th team out of the ACC.

Military Bowl Presented by Northrop Grumman: East Carolina vs. Maryland.

Wednesday, December 29th.

Not only is this a sponsorship, it’s like a love letter to your biggest consumer. A little advice Northrop Grumman, it’s not good to sound desperate. Well, maybe you have to make it obvious because a match-up of the 4th best Conference USA team (East Carolina 6-6) and the third best ACC team (Maryland 8-4) is not exactly screaming, “I think you are the best gal in the world.” (According to Wikipedia, it’s actually the 8th selection out of the ACC to go with the 4th out of Conference USA. Wow, got passed over five times Maryland. Catch Military Bowl Fever! It’s militarific!)

Bridgeport Education Holiday Bowl: Nebraska vs. Washington.

Thursday, December 30th.

Hey, does going to schools like 18th-ranked Nebraska (10-3) or Washington (6-6) that have actual football teams you could watch in person sound like a drag? Would you rather just continue to live vicariously through the people in the stands that actually go to college football games rather than watch them on TV? Then sign up for online classes at Bridgeport Education!

TicketCity Bowl: Northwestern vs. Texas Tech.

Saturday January 1st.

Now this is some synergy. To all the people actually watching this game, they have to be fans of college football, but they could be at the game instead if they went to TicketCity! They could have been watching Texas Tech (7-5) against Northwestern (7-5) in person because really, the only people watching the game at home are degenerate gamblers. Now that’s the bowl game sponsorship I want: “Degenerate Gamblers Bowl presented by Caesar’s Palace Sports Book. Northwestern vs. Texas Tech.”

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl: Nevada vs. Boston College.

Sunday, January 9th.

Darn it, how am I supposed to make fun of this bowl as it is supporting a charity seeking to give 20 million meals to feed America? It’s a good cause and you get to watch 15th ranked Nevada (12-1) and Boston College (7-5). Although, if I ran the Fight Hunger Bowl, I would use the “presented by” label to add sponsorships from the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, the Outback Steakhouse Bowl, and the Chick-Fil-A Bowl because they should be able to send plenty of food.

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About Jason McClain Jason is an aspiring novelist, which means there is a lot of time to put off writing and watch baseball or go fly-fishing, hiking and traveling. By "a lot of time", Jason means "procrastination."

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